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Meltdowns Meltdowns Meltdowns

ParentingAutism
6 hours ago

Chloe, my daughter, has just been in meltdown mode for the past 2 days. Everything we do just does not help. She just seems 'stuck', if you know what I mean? 

Long story short: 

Chloe went out for the afternoon, came home to 100's of spiders in her bedroom, on the ceiling and walls. We got rid of them all but she did not want to sleep in her room which was understandable so slept in with her sister. 

The next day, some spiders came back, and she refused to sleep in there again. We have got rid of them again today but she is still refusing to step foot in her room. 

She just seems stuck and frozen now. She doesn't know what to do with herself. The tears and meltdowns are constant. She is refusing to eat, shower, do anything and all she is doing is pacing. 

What can we do? 

Thanks, 

Lucy 

Parents
  • 3 hours ago

    Yeah if she didn't have arachnophobia before, she sure does now. There must be a reason so many spiders showed up in her room. Either there are egg sacs or a hole somewhere and something flushed them out, like a change in the weather. Whatever the case, what have you done to root out the cause of the sudden infestation, and prevent more from coming out? Basically the only way you're going to get your daughter to use that room again is if you can show her how the situation happened, what you've done to make sure it won't happen again, and then let her watch you inspect the room to make sure you got every spider out.

    The meltdowns are happening because her mind is sending out way too many stress signals, keeping her in fight or flight mode. Of course she doesn't want to eat. Her brain is telling her body she's in danger. You need to prove to her she's not. Here's the kicker. You thought you got all the spiders out. You told her they were all gone. She went back into her room and found more. Her trust is violated.  It might sound dramatic, but her mind and body is in survival mode, and it's telling her that the last time she believed you when you told her she was safe, she got exposed to the danger again. I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty, but to warn you of how escalating thinking can lead to more problems in the future.

Reply
  • 3 hours ago

    Yeah if she didn't have arachnophobia before, she sure does now. There must be a reason so many spiders showed up in her room. Either there are egg sacs or a hole somewhere and something flushed them out, like a change in the weather. Whatever the case, what have you done to root out the cause of the sudden infestation, and prevent more from coming out? Basically the only way you're going to get your daughter to use that room again is if you can show her how the situation happened, what you've done to make sure it won't happen again, and then let her watch you inspect the room to make sure you got every spider out.

    The meltdowns are happening because her mind is sending out way too many stress signals, keeping her in fight or flight mode. Of course she doesn't want to eat. Her brain is telling her body she's in danger. You need to prove to her she's not. Here's the kicker. You thought you got all the spiders out. You told her they were all gone. She went back into her room and found more. Her trust is violated.  It might sound dramatic, but her mind and body is in survival mode, and it's telling her that the last time she believed you when you told her she was safe, she got exposed to the danger again. I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty, but to warn you of how escalating thinking can lead to more problems in the future.

Children