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Is it all too much ??

DansMum73

Hello, i have a 17 year old son, high level Aspergers, currently at Sixth Form. He is studying four subjects full time. He also attends Boys Brigade on Friday evenings, is going for his Duke of Edinburgh silver and attends meetings, is a teaching assistant on Thursdays, has mentoring on Wednesday evenings 6-9 and Saturdays 11-4 and has a paper round on Sundays. He is currently looking for a part time job for a bit of extra money and is just waiting for his provisonal licence to come throught the post before he starts his driving lessons. He is half way through Sixth Form and so we are also looking at Uni's for him. There is also the obvious mountain of homework ....

My point is that I feel he has taken a lot if not too much on. When i try to speak to him about dropping something, the rows and violence begins and he is abusive beyond belief (or maybe not!).  i get no support whatsoever from Sixth Form or D of E or Boys Brigade so i am always the bad cop. They always want to deal with him and not me.

i get that he wants to do these things and fit in and believe me i am bursting with pride for him. but i am watching my son deteriorate. he doesnt eat, he doesnt sleep well and he would never ever admit to anyone (even me) that he wasn't coping.

Am i just panicking or should i try harder to get him to make some changes

thanks for reading.

Parents

  • I think the danger is, even if he is managing it now, burnout will eventually hit.  The trouble is, you can tell someone something but you can't make them see it if they don't want to, they need to experience it for themselves.  As you have seen, he is already suffering effects from his busy schedule.  The only thing I can think of is to show him logically, not emotionally, how it isn't sustainable.  He is at the age where he wants desperately to fit in, he will have more energy for this now than he will in years to come, but even so, it seems like he is causing himself a problem already.

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  • I think the danger is, even if he is managing it now, burnout will eventually hit.  The trouble is, you can tell someone something but you can't make them see it if they don't want to, they need to experience it for themselves.  As you have seen, he is already suffering effects from his busy schedule.  The only thing I can think of is to show him logically, not emotionally, how it isn't sustainable.  He is at the age where he wants desperately to fit in, he will have more energy for this now than he will in years to come, but even so, it seems like he is causing himself a problem already.

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