Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I'm new to this forum - I hope its ok to post. My son has been referred for an autism assessment by the GP but he hasn't actually been diagnosed. He went away to uni last weekend, staying in halls - he knew he was going to find it difficult but he really wanted to try. He's been to all his course induction activities and said he's looking forward to starting the course properly next week.
But it is the living arrangements he's struggling with. He's self catering, sharing a kitchen with four others. He's not dared leave his room to speak to them, he's been going into the kitchen at 6am to make himself some food when nobody is around, and then staying in his room when he's not at course induction activities. His flatmates have put notes under his door asking if he's ok and if he wants to join the whatsapp chat. It took him hours to work up the courage to actually read the notes, and he doesn't want to join the group chat. I've suggested he tries writing a note for his flatmates, which he might try but he's not sure. He's coming home this weekend (already planned) so he'll have a break then. But we're not sure whether the best thing would be to try to see if he can move into a self-contained studio flat, so he can have his own kitchen and not have to see anyone, or whether this won't help him and isolate him further. We could reach out to the university residential experience people but I know he won't accept help, and wouldn't feel able to go and approach them for a meeting or anything.
He hasn't spoken to anyone on his course yet, but he's fine with that and we know it'll just take time and he may or may not make a friend or two.
Hi as a person on the spectrum who has been to university I found joining a society helped and going to different activities the university provided really helped me to settle. Maybe you could find out if there is an autistic society or any autism groups near your son he might enjoy. Also try to encourage him to speak to his flat mates I found it hard at first but it got a lot easier and we used to do some fun things together like cook meals watch films and sometimes we go out for food or go for walks. But it’s important to let him settle down and get used to things and hopefully things might start to improve.