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banging the table scared my daughter

tbag

My daughter has just got her statement with a new school that has specialist provision for autism to start in september. In the meantime, she has a home tutor that is funded on medical grounds. The tutor seems like a nice enough lady, she visits for an hour a day. My daughter finds a whole hour sitting at the table with her a bit much sometimes and it gets difficult to maintain concentration. Today when my daughter's mind and gaze began to wander, the tutor banged the table! This really made her jump. I didn't know what to say! It's a bit embarrassing, I don't want to make an atmosphere, as I have to let her in to my home every week day! But I am not happy about it. Any advice would be much appreciated! Or am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

Parents

  • I am not surprised by the behaviour of your childs' tutor.  I know a woman who also does this type of support for the reasons you mentioned.  She has absolutely no training or experience of ASC children and has even admitted as much, yet she has two ASC children on her books suffering from school refusal and constantly moans about them.  

    As Longman says the transition to secondary school can be a difficult one.  Tutors for reasons I have yet to fathom turn a blind eye to bullying, and in my situation told me it was just my children's perception, and there was no bullying going on.  

    Years on and my sons have become "beacons" for bullied children to go to.  Having experienced the behaviours first hand, they feel it their duty to protect the younger ones and report bullying, much to the annoyance of the tutors I feel, who just don't want to acknowledge it.  

    Last week my son provided safe haven to a little year 7 who's school bag was being snatched from him constantly.  The boy has a physical disability and cannot walk without the aid of his crutches and then only for short distances.  He was very distressed and my son (bless him) immediately summoned a Head of Year and retrieved the bag and has told this Year 7 that he has his protection and that of his friends.  He now hangs out with my son et al and is much happier.

    Finally, the children who teased and bullied my eldest in Year 7 - 11 have now matured and those that have stayed onto VIth form are very different individuals many of which he really likes and they like him..  there is hope.

    Wish you well.

Reply

  • I am not surprised by the behaviour of your childs' tutor.  I know a woman who also does this type of support for the reasons you mentioned.  She has absolutely no training or experience of ASC children and has even admitted as much, yet she has two ASC children on her books suffering from school refusal and constantly moans about them.  

    As Longman says the transition to secondary school can be a difficult one.  Tutors for reasons I have yet to fathom turn a blind eye to bullying, and in my situation told me it was just my children's perception, and there was no bullying going on.  

    Years on and my sons have become "beacons" for bullied children to go to.  Having experienced the behaviours first hand, they feel it their duty to protect the younger ones and report bullying, much to the annoyance of the tutors I feel, who just don't want to acknowledge it.  

    Last week my son provided safe haven to a little year 7 who's school bag was being snatched from him constantly.  The boy has a physical disability and cannot walk without the aid of his crutches and then only for short distances.  He was very distressed and my son (bless him) immediately summoned a Head of Year and retrieved the bag and has told this Year 7 that he has his protection and that of his friends.  He now hangs out with my son et al and is much happier.

    Finally, the children who teased and bullied my eldest in Year 7 - 11 have now matured and those that have stayed onto VIth form are very different individuals many of which he really likes and they like him..  there is hope.

    Wish you well.

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