Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I have just joined the community as i feel like i have no one to talk to... so i'll start by saying Hi!
I have a daughter who is diagnosed ADHD and awaiting an ASD referral, all in hand and happy with help and support i receive from friends, family and professionals.
I also have a son who unfortunately, I am not getting the same response in support for. He is on the ASD waiting list (hopefully january time) He has been on a one plan since he started reception and school has many things in place to help him cope throughout the day, including ear defenders, social stories, feelings cards and quiet breaks.
I am always being told I am either being an over-baring mother, I'm mollycoddling, I'm too protective, I'm too over the top by even my closest friends and its breaking my heart. I know my son and I know whats not 'normal', yet I'm sitting her feeling like I am going crazy and no one listens to me. I just cant cope with the negativity anymore.
He lives talks and and acts in the land of nintendo, every task we do or walk we go on is a level on mario, our conversations are mario topic, we never really talk about anything else, no matter how hard I try to talk about other subjects, he ingores me and continues with his thoughts. He must always have my attention on him and his interests and cannot understand when I have other things to do or I am in the middle of a conversation.
I have been informed by professional workers that he has sensory processing disorder. Hes extremely sensitive to noise, taste, texture. He will vomit when over exposed to these things, for example, going to busy soft play centers will make him vomit. He can only eat certain foods without vomiting and has a very small food selection he feels safe with. I am always trying to encourage him to try new things even if it is just touching or smelling it. I'm not able to give him different brands because it will cause this to happen still.
He is selective mute, with final word disfluency, he really struggles to get his sentences out and causes a lot of frustration for him when people don't understand what hes saying. I am always told by everyone around me, there is nothing wrong with his speech and I'm over thinking it. which hurts because I see his pain and hurt from not being understood.
He doesn't really play, he has a select few toys he sticks to which involves organising them and will repeat the same games with them. He does not enjoy playing with other children. If a child tries to approach him to play at a park he will go mute and hide. There will be little to no communication.
I have so many things I could sit here and write but I feel like I would be here all night... so if you've read this, thank you... I guess I'm just hoping to be heard.
And heard you are. I hear you. I understand that you must be sensing the pain that your son is experiencing. You just want the best for him. You are not going insane at all. You are right and they’re wrong. Your his mum not them. You want the best for your kid I get that but maybe you wont get that support from some people. You are heard here though. We all know the pain and struggle. Just don’t go down any rabbit holes of thinking that autism is caused by vaccines or something. Many of us fall down there. I know that autism is genetic and has been around for hundreds of years. Everyone who gets it suffers to some extent but you can help your son by embracing his gift the way it is. It’s a gift. I mean it can be! Your son is special. He is quiet and shy. But many kids before him have been shy and quiet and will continue to be for years to come. Shyness and quietness can be treated. Don’t let the label overcome you. His focus on Mario may be his way of shutting down from shyness. I’m sure you and your son will be just fine. You will get the support you need and so will your son. Thank you for coming to us to ask for advice. We are with you.
Thank you so much for replying to me! The pain I feel is that people are saying I am causing all of his issues, I am proud of my little boy, he is extremely intelligent for his age and is an incredible math whiz at the age of 5! He spots numbers everywhere and loves watching the clocks change! I fully believe it is indeed genetics, ASD runs in my family. I am not overcome by the label, more there lack of support and care toward myself and my boy.
Thank you again Yellow tree