DLA guilt and ostrich behaviour

I got support from a charity to fill out DLA forms for my children. It is a very emotional and daunting task. Get some help to fill them in if you can. I had very different reactions to my childrens diagnosis. my daughter was diagnosed at age 11 after a long battle and no support from school. I was relieved to get a diagnosis and happy that someone finally understood her difficulties when DLA was awarded. My son is at the more severe end of the spectrum. His formal  diagnosis was at age 3 and I was devastated,although he has had support since his two year check when his autism was picked up on.  filling in DLA forms was like rubbing salt in the wounds. It really made a difference to get support to fill them in. I hope you do, as your child is entitled to that money, its no different to asking for a statement, your just making sure your child has what they should have.

@peckie, you need to remember that no matter what your emotional situation, this isn't about you, it's about your child.  DLA is for him, you have to put your feelings completely aside and do the right thing.

Hi I have just made a claim I didn't think I would be able to get any money but my daughters Practioner helped and I have been awarded the middle allowance this now ables me to be my daughters carrer full time and I have now been able to buy her clothes that make her feel more comfortable it really will help you and your family

www.autism.org.uk/.../After-diagnosis.aspx

Take care.

It took me some time to come to terms with my sons diagnosis. I was in denial for ages. Perhaps I was mistaken, perhaps they had it wrong? I procrastinated for an eternity. There was no mistake. The issue was me coming to terms with it, Once i applied their was a tense wait, now it's here i'm so grateful.

All the additional appointments we have to attend for health issues, all the extra journeys needed for groups and support, the assistive software, audio books and visual aids to help them access literature and learning, gadgets to help with prompts for time, day and month and much more, extra laundry, additonal support and assessment, the list is endless and unique to your childs needs.

In the early days we don't recognise the costs involved. As time goes on your sons level of needs will reveal itself fully. The chioce is yours, but your child will need indefinate support if they have a diagnosis and that is a long term expense. If your GP recommends it, I suggest you seriously consider it.

I wish you all the best with your decsion. God Bless. Coogyxx

I completely understand your reluctance to fill in the form.  I cried buckets when I did my boys forms.  With me I felt like  I was criticising my children because they couldn't do what other children could do at that age, and I felt a lot of guilt.  It felt like I was dissatisfied with them, which certainly wasn't the case.  I even wrote a covering letter saying as much.

Anyway years on and I am glad I went through the process as it has  helped the boys buy specialist items over the years.

Finally, there are support groups like this one who can help you through the process, filling in the form in stages may also help as it can be emotionally draining doing it all at once.

Deep breaths .

Hi - I'm presuming your son has been diagnosed with autism?  This won't be "a verbal kick up the backside" - at least I hope not.  That's because I think you know already, rationally, practically, why you should claim.  I'll say it anyway : the money can be very helpful if there's something he needs that will benefit him, the fact he gets dla may help in other directions if you need to approach other organisations, that sort of thing.  But I won't go on about that.  It's the emotional side that's stopping you but at the same time you recognise it's irrational.  Of course you can just leave it and ultimately lose money that could have benefitted him (ouch!).  You could apply later of course.  You could not apply for years.  He would still be autistic. Can I ask a question?  Have you completely accepted that he is autistic?  I'm not saying you haven't, but it could possibly explain to some extent why you're avoiding filling in the form (that + the size of it of course .)  If I'm wrong then accept my apologies.  There are lots of posts on here from parents and their feelings regarding diagnosis, so if you haven't, then have a look around.  I hope I haven't stepped over the mark.