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refusing to apologise

Hotel california

Just preempting what I think might happen and asking for your comments.

I have a feeling that I may be called into school because one of my son's tutors overheard my son say to his lsa that he doesn't like his tutor because he cannot teach.

The tutor overheard and has demanded an  apology.  My son has refused to do so.

His aspieness has kicked in I think, as telling the truth, despite who it hurts, is the logical thing to do in his mind.

Just not sure how I get this across to his tutor.  If he does apologise, it will not be heartfelt and it somehow feels wrong to force my son to apologise when we  all know it is false, and will no doubt turn my son even more against this tutor.

Has anyone else been through this and / or have suggestions?

Parents

  • Hey,

    What a nightmare situation! I haven't been through that myself as my wee man is just 4 but I can see what a dilemma you have there.

    The thing that stands out to me is should we teach any of our children to lie and apologise for something when they have nothing to be sorry about? Your child wasn't being rude to the teacher, it was a private conversation which was overheard and he is entitled to his opinion....!!! What I would try and explain to him is that he can feel sorry that the teacher overheard it; that's different from apologising for holding the view if that makes sense?

    Also, I would say the teacher needs to grow up! Children both NT and ASD hold opinions which can be hurtful - teachers are the adults here and need to act like it!! If you are called in, I would say to the teacher that your son is entitled to hold a private opinion, even if it's not one that others agree with and it doesn't warrant an apology. I would see however if you could persuade your son to apologise to the teacher for not being more discreet and hurting their feelings.....

    Don't know if any of this helps at all - good luck :)

Reply

  • Hey,

    What a nightmare situation! I haven't been through that myself as my wee man is just 4 but I can see what a dilemma you have there.

    The thing that stands out to me is should we teach any of our children to lie and apologise for something when they have nothing to be sorry about? Your child wasn't being rude to the teacher, it was a private conversation which was overheard and he is entitled to his opinion....!!! What I would try and explain to him is that he can feel sorry that the teacher overheard it; that's different from apologising for holding the view if that makes sense?

    Also, I would say the teacher needs to grow up! Children both NT and ASD hold opinions which can be hurtful - teachers are the adults here and need to act like it!! If you are called in, I would say to the teacher that your son is entitled to hold a private opinion, even if it's not one that others agree with and it doesn't warrant an apology. I would see however if you could persuade your son to apologise to the teacher for not being more discreet and hurting their feelings.....

    Don't know if any of this helps at all - good luck :)

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