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Do I have to tell my son he has Autism, if he is diagnosed?

SammyC

Hi there. My son hasn't been diagnosed yet but has been re-referred for a second autism test. i have posted another thread regarding his story but my other question is, if he is diagnosed, do I have to tell him. He will be 7 this month. I don't want to give him a label + make him aware of it at his age. Am I wrong? 

Parents

  • Personally, I think the damage potentially done by not being aware of the label is far worse than any concerns over being aware of it.

    I told my daughter when she was 7 even before she was diagnosed, as I knew she had it and her distress over why she was different and why she couldn't control her behaviour and thinking she was a bad person was increasing.

    A person can feel very bad inside if they are aware of having differences (and the higher functioning someone is the more painfully aware they are of those differences) and not knowing why.  They tend to blame themselves and wonder what's wrong with them.

    I have read enough posts on other forums by autistic adults who are bitter and angry against their parents for not telling them, to know it's not the best option.  The question you need to ask, is whether it is you that is bothered by the label or thinking he will be upset by it.

    If you tell him in a positive way, pointing out all the famous and amazing people with it, it will help.  There are books out there for children explaining it to them in a way they will understand.

Reply

  • Personally, I think the damage potentially done by not being aware of the label is far worse than any concerns over being aware of it.

    I told my daughter when she was 7 even before she was diagnosed, as I knew she had it and her distress over why she was different and why she couldn't control her behaviour and thinking she was a bad person was increasing.

    A person can feel very bad inside if they are aware of having differences (and the higher functioning someone is the more painfully aware they are of those differences) and not knowing why.  They tend to blame themselves and wonder what's wrong with them.

    I have read enough posts on other forums by autistic adults who are bitter and angry against their parents for not telling them, to know it's not the best option.  The question you need to ask, is whether it is you that is bothered by the label or thinking he will be upset by it.

    If you tell him in a positive way, pointing out all the famous and amazing people with it, it will help.  There are books out there for children explaining it to them in a way they will understand.

Children
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