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Do I have to tell my son he has Autism, if he is diagnosed?

SammyC

Hi there. My son hasn't been diagnosed yet but has been re-referred for a second autism test. i have posted another thread regarding his story but my other question is, if he is diagnosed, do I have to tell him. He will be 7 this month. I don't want to give him a label + make him aware of it at his age. Am I wrong? 

  • For what it's worth I have a son the same age and have always been completely honest with him.  The way we approach it is that Autism is just a normal part of our life and not something to be worried about or hide away from.  I don't think there's a right or wrong but hope that when he's an adult he'll feel we did right by him.  All the best.

  • I agree with everything already said.  My son is seven also and although not yet officially diagnosed i know he has Aspergers or ASD. 

    I worry also about telling him but what i am doing is starting to sow the seeds of information.  We home school and are studying the human body this term so i have discussed how peoples brains function differently and commented how he is so special with an astounding long term memory and sensory a great sense of smell, but doesn't like loud noises or busy places, i always emphasis we are all different.

    I think we dont give our kids enough credit, they already know they are different esp. the high functioning ones. Telling them why in a positive way i think will only come as a huge relief.  My son knows he is different but different in a good way, he is special.

    I intend on naming the difference once the diagnosis is given, but i do not think it will be a surprise nor a concern for my son, he is who he is, yours may surprise you too.....

    Good luck

    Puffin

  • Hi - sooner or later - it could be at any time - your son is going to ask you something.  You can wait for that moment and answer honestly.  However, I agree with Intense, better by far, especially when it comes to trust, is to take the initiative.  Have a look at the other posts on this and also the books. 

  • Personally, I think the damage potentially done by not being aware of the label is far worse than any concerns over being aware of it.

    I told my daughter when she was 7 even before she was diagnosed, as I knew she had it and her distress over why she was different and why she couldn't control her behaviour and thinking she was a bad person was increasing.

    A person can feel very bad inside if they are aware of having differences (and the higher functioning someone is the more painfully aware they are of those differences) and not knowing why.  They tend to blame themselves and wonder what's wrong with them.

    I have read enough posts on other forums by autistic adults who are bitter and angry against their parents for not telling them, to know it's not the best option.  The question you need to ask, is whether it is you that is bothered by the label or thinking he will be upset by it.

    If you tell him in a positive way, pointing out all the famous and amazing people with it, it will help.  There are books out there for children explaining it to them in a way they will understand.

  • There have been many posts on the forums around this subject.  It really comes down to personal choice and what you think is best for your son. Have a look around and search the forums for others answers that have been given, then you can make an informed decision.

    Good luck with the continued assessment process.