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Driving

ParentingAutism

My daughter, 18, loves driving, but unfortunately her insurance has been cancelled because her blackbox caught her speeding. Now I don't condone the speed she was doing but this road is quiet and it starts off at 50 then goes down to 40. Everyone speeds down there because it is a straight, quiet road and is so hard to stick to the limit. 

She has just paid for a different insurance but is now refusing to drive altogether because of the black box. She says that no one sticks to the limit and where we live it is mainly straight national-speed limit roads with forest on the opposite side. When she does the speed limit she feels so anxious and on edge because she feels pressured by drivers behind her because they try to overtake and make gestures at her. She says she wants a bmw because they "rule the roads" therefore she can stick to the speed limit and think nothing of it.

I personally do not know what to do anymore. Driving makes her happy overall but drivers are knocking her confidence. If anyone has any ideas, please please please let me know. 

Parents

  • I can really sympathise with your daughter. I’m sorry your daughter is getting stressed out by other drivers. Driving can be lovely, seeing the sights and having the freedom to go anywhere you like but then you have to deal with other drivers. I always think how lovely it would be if there were no other road users. It would be a lot less stress that’s for sure!

    I try to never speed. I don’t have a black box, I just follow rules as closely as I can. I believe it’s a part of my ASD where I take things literally. So if a sign says 30mph I will do 30 and won’t speed up just because the car behind is on my bumper and has been for the last couple of miles. Your daughter needs to try and ignore the other drivers when they act like this. She needs to try and focus on the driving and enjoy it. Don’t worry about the other drivers when they are having a tantrum. It’s their problem, not hers.

    I know that’s easier said than done but there’s little else she can do.

    During her time she is going to encounter other drivers who make gestures and overtake or hog her bumper. This is unfortunately a part of being a driver and though it is annoying and can be stressful you can’t let it get to you otherwise it will ruin your enjoyment.

Reply

  • I can really sympathise with your daughter. I’m sorry your daughter is getting stressed out by other drivers. Driving can be lovely, seeing the sights and having the freedom to go anywhere you like but then you have to deal with other drivers. I always think how lovely it would be if there were no other road users. It would be a lot less stress that’s for sure!

    I try to never speed. I don’t have a black box, I just follow rules as closely as I can. I believe it’s a part of my ASD where I take things literally. So if a sign says 30mph I will do 30 and won’t speed up just because the car behind is on my bumper and has been for the last couple of miles. Your daughter needs to try and ignore the other drivers when they act like this. She needs to try and focus on the driving and enjoy it. Don’t worry about the other drivers when they are having a tantrum. It’s their problem, not hers.

    I know that’s easier said than done but there’s little else she can do.

    During her time she is going to encounter other drivers who make gestures and overtake or hog her bumper. This is unfortunately a part of being a driver and though it is annoying and can be stressful you can’t let it get to you otherwise it will ruin your enjoyment.

Children
  • in reply to Cassandraa

    This is good advice Cassandraa - there will always be other drivers on the road that are behaving badly unfortunately - and you have to learn to manage the times when you encounter them by driving correctly and being secure in the knowledge that you are doing the right thing - and if they want to speed that’s their problem. You have to try to be immune to pressure from other drivers - and I think autistic people can struggle to do that as we are uncomfortable with the idea of annoying others and the pressure of others opinions etc. It’s important to try not to feel pressured by the poor driving of other road users. For example at a junction if other drivers are behind you waiting it’s important not to feel pressured into pulling onto a road if you’re not sure it’s completely safe to do so. We need to give ourselves the time we need to drive safely and not be influenced by any aggressive or impatient drivers we might come across. It’s not easy. Driving is stressful sometimes - that’s just a part of it. When it’s good though it’s wonderful - so it’s worth it.