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Driving

ParentingAutism

My daughter, 18, loves driving, but unfortunately her insurance has been cancelled because her blackbox caught her speeding. Now I don't condone the speed she was doing but this road is quiet and it starts off at 50 then goes down to 40. Everyone speeds down there because it is a straight, quiet road and is so hard to stick to the limit. 

She has just paid for a different insurance but is now refusing to drive altogether because of the black box. She says that no one sticks to the limit and where we live it is mainly straight national-speed limit roads with forest on the opposite side. When she does the speed limit she feels so anxious and on edge because she feels pressured by drivers behind her because they try to overtake and make gestures at her. She says she wants a bmw because they "rule the roads" therefore she can stick to the speed limit and think nothing of it.

I personally do not know what to do anymore. Driving makes her happy overall but drivers are knocking her confidence. If anyone has any ideas, please please please let me know. 

Parents

  • I’m autistic and drive, and I do find it stressful. I do often feel stressed when drivers are close behind me and I’m sticking to speed limit - I feel conscious that I may be annoying them if they think I’m going too slowly and they want to get by me etc.

    But the fact is that the speed limits are non negotiable- they are the legal speed limits and if your daughter wants to drive she has to stick to the speed limits on the roads - for her own safety, other people’s safety and also to keep her licence. 
    The only answer I can see to your situation is to educate your daughter about the consequences of going over the speed limits. For example going just 5 miles and hour faster on a bend can make the difference between driving round that bend in wet or icy conditions or sliding of the road into a hedge, tree or wall. It’s dangerous. Similarly in a 30 zone going if 35 or 40 if a child runs out into the road and she hits them it could result in her killing that child - in which case your daughter could also end up in prison for dangerous driving.

    Driving a car is a huge responsibility - we are talking life and death. If your daughter can’t take that seriously then frankly she’s not mature enough to be driving. If you can’t convince her to drive more carefully by educating her then I pity the road users around her, and eventually she’s likely to receive a ban anyway and lose her license if she keeps speeding. 

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  • I’m autistic and drive, and I do find it stressful. I do often feel stressed when drivers are close behind me and I’m sticking to speed limit - I feel conscious that I may be annoying them if they think I’m going too slowly and they want to get by me etc.

    But the fact is that the speed limits are non negotiable- they are the legal speed limits and if your daughter wants to drive she has to stick to the speed limits on the roads - for her own safety, other people’s safety and also to keep her licence. 
    The only answer I can see to your situation is to educate your daughter about the consequences of going over the speed limits. For example going just 5 miles and hour faster on a bend can make the difference between driving round that bend in wet or icy conditions or sliding of the road into a hedge, tree or wall. It’s dangerous. Similarly in a 30 zone going if 35 or 40 if a child runs out into the road and she hits them it could result in her killing that child - in which case your daughter could also end up in prison for dangerous driving.

    Driving a car is a huge responsibility - we are talking life and death. If your daughter can’t take that seriously then frankly she’s not mature enough to be driving. If you can’t convince her to drive more carefully by educating her then I pity the road users around her, and eventually she’s likely to receive a ban anyway and lose her license if she keeps speeding. 

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