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Driving

ParentingAutism

My daughter, 18, loves driving, but unfortunately her insurance has been cancelled because her blackbox caught her speeding. Now I don't condone the speed she was doing but this road is quiet and it starts off at 50 then goes down to 40. Everyone speeds down there because it is a straight, quiet road and is so hard to stick to the limit. 

She has just paid for a different insurance but is now refusing to drive altogether because of the black box. She says that no one sticks to the limit and where we live it is mainly straight national-speed limit roads with forest on the opposite side. When she does the speed limit she feels so anxious and on edge because she feels pressured by drivers behind her because they try to overtake and make gestures at her. She says she wants a bmw because they "rule the roads" therefore she can stick to the speed limit and think nothing of it.

I personally do not know what to do anymore. Driving makes her happy overall but drivers are knocking her confidence. If anyone has any ideas, please please please let me know. 

Parents

  • Having a BMW won't change people wanting to get past so it won't fix her issue.

    Maybe just go out with her a few times for company.

    Some people use P stickers to indicate they are newly qualified which can reduce pressure.

    Around me few people drive in excess of the speed limit, many don't make it to the limit. Since COVID, but even before, people have been getting slower. It is fairly rural.

    Seems the problem is the other people, but there are always going to be some. Even in a 600bhp car there's always someone else with something to prove. Don't be part of their accident.

    I've just bought a slower car as there is no point having anything fast.

    I think it is a mindset thing. When I first learned to drive I found other people intimidating, but you just have to ignore it. Driving just below the speed limit is fine and you will never get in trouble. Let other people pass. If there is a queue and it really bothers you, or someone is really close, you can pull over to let them pass. You don't want them hitting you.

    I also have tractors, horse boxes, buses, lorries etc. that are equally slow, so it is not that big a deal.

    I think you just need to reassure her it is ok. It does not matter what other people in their cars think, you'll never see them again.

    I am old enough that black boxes did not exist when I started and I don't have anything in the current car to track me. I would not have been keen on being tracked. I assume the Insurance company didn't cancel due to a one off.

    When young you overestimate you ability and have limited experience, so being sensible on the road is a good thing. Crashing is expensive and can hurt.

Reply

  • Having a BMW won't change people wanting to get past so it won't fix her issue.

    Maybe just go out with her a few times for company.

    Some people use P stickers to indicate they are newly qualified which can reduce pressure.

    Around me few people drive in excess of the speed limit, many don't make it to the limit. Since COVID, but even before, people have been getting slower. It is fairly rural.

    Seems the problem is the other people, but there are always going to be some. Even in a 600bhp car there's always someone else with something to prove. Don't be part of their accident.

    I've just bought a slower car as there is no point having anything fast.

    I think it is a mindset thing. When I first learned to drive I found other people intimidating, but you just have to ignore it. Driving just below the speed limit is fine and you will never get in trouble. Let other people pass. If there is a queue and it really bothers you, or someone is really close, you can pull over to let them pass. You don't want them hitting you.

    I also have tractors, horse boxes, buses, lorries etc. that are equally slow, so it is not that big a deal.

    I think you just need to reassure her it is ok. It does not matter what other people in their cars think, you'll never see them again.

    I am old enough that black boxes did not exist when I started and I don't have anything in the current car to track me. I would not have been keen on being tracked. I assume the Insurance company didn't cancel due to a one off.

    When young you overestimate you ability and have limited experience, so being sensible on the road is a good thing. Crashing is expensive and can hurt.

Children
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