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How to identify autism positive Secondary School? (if you know South Birmingham even better)

Whatselfcare

Hello, new here. Autistic/ADHD son is at the end of year 7 and it has been difficult to say the least. He has gone from achieving well to achieving well below expectations and is in constant trouble (when he goes). The change since Primary is heartbreaking. Yes, he needs to accept support (he doesn't, is in denial and doesn't want to be one of the 'special' kids) but school are punishing him when he doesn't accept the exact support they are offering. He doesn't have an EHCP (Primary said he wouldn't qualify so didn't pursue it at the time) but feel he probably needs a fresh start as they just seem to be reprimanding him for every tiny thing now as he has a reputation and constantly threatening exclusion. How do I know which schools will be actually supportive of his needs? On paper his current one should have been. I don't really have local networks as they seem to meet during the day when I am at work (also in a school so can't just take a day off). To make matters worse he doesn't want to leave as his friends are there but he really is on his last life and don't know if it is better to leave before being pushed.

  • Hi Whatselfcare, 

    I am sorry to hear that your child is finding secondary school difficult. I have added information on how to access our education resources and education helplines that may be of interest to you.

    Please visit our online advice and guidance which explains more about getting extra help in school, assessments, education plans, reviews and school transport for England: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/extra-help-at-school/england   

    If you require further support, you may like to contact the following regional organisations:  

    • Every local area has a Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Information Advice and Support Service that can provide information, advice and support to parents and carers of children and young people with SEND, including on exclusions:  www.kids.org.uk/sendiass  
    • Independent Provider of Special Education Advice is a registered charity that offers free and independent information, advice and support to help get the right education for children and young people with all kinds of SEND: www.ipsea.org.uk/   
    •  Coram’s Child Law Advice service can be accessed through their website or contacted on 0300 330 5485 from Monday to Friday, 8am – 6pm: childlawadvice.org.uk/.../  
    • SOS!SEN offers a free, term-time, national helpline, staffed by a team of volunteers, to provide next step advice and support on questions and issues parents may have relating to their child’s SEN provision: https://sossen.org.uk/services/helpline/ Their helpline number is 0208 538 3731.  

    Kind Regards,
    Rosie Mod

  • Whatselfcare said:
    he needs to accept support (he doesn't, is in denial and doesn't want to be one of the 'special' kids) but school are punishing him when he doesn't accept the exact support they are offering

    Have you spoken with the SENCO at the school to detail your concerns? I would do it in writing so you have a paper trail and ask them who their ombudsman is to let them know you will escalate if they don't get their finger out.

    The SENCO is key here - they will perform the assessments and put provisions in place so you need to work closely with them. If they are rubbish then you need to complain and make enough of a fuss that this gets addressed.

    You do need to try to get your son to accept help though - but it may come best from a therapist for him than in public at least to the point where he is willing to accept some help.

    If he is getting a lot of stigma from his classmates then the school needs to look at this and address the lack of understanding amongst the pupils

    Whatselfcare said:
    To make matters worse he doesn't want to leave as his friends are there

    If you pull him out then he will blame you for losing the friends. Changing to a new school is likely to lead to just the same acting out, just in a different place, and I expect his record will follow him so you are not starting over, just moving to a whole added set of problems with the uprooting of his contacts.

    Whatselfcare said:
    he really is on his last life and don't know if it is better to leave before being pushed.

    What are the options here if he does not change? Has he been made explicitly aware of them?

    It could be this is a badge of honour he wants to get to show off to his friends. "look what a badass I am" sort of thing.

    If you can point out what the future look like if he gets kicked out then this may give him cause to reconsider, but if you are one step away from it then I think it may be too late already. While you persue better outcomes then I would be considering how the worst case outcome would look like.