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School trip

ParentingAutism
2 months ago

Long story short: 

Chloe, my daughter, had a teacher for her lesson. That teacher is male and she struggles with males. It took nearly 3 years for her to work with him. That teacher slept, yes slept, when she had him. 

As a result, she does not want to work with him anymore, understandable. 

Her school keeps putting the teacher with her and this works her up for the whole day. They do put a female with her when she has him but she does not want him at all. 

SCHOOL TRIP: 

She needs to share a car next week with her staff (who she loves) and also another student and the students staff (who is the teacher who fell asleep). Does that make sense? 

Chloe's staff needs to drive because the other staff can't. 

Chloe will be sat in the back with the other student (both students get on really well). 

My fear is that her being around that staff member is going to ruin the day, especially the drives. She is already saying that she can't be bothered to go on the trip if he is in the car with her. This trip is a theme park which she LOVES so when she is saying this, it does worry me. 

If anyone has any ideas on what I can do, it is GREATLY appreciated. 

I am going to talk to the school. 

TIA 

Lucy 

Parents
  • 2 months ago
    ParentingAutism said:
    That teacher is male and she struggles with males. It took nearly 3 years for her to work with him. That teacher slept, yes slept, when she had him. 

    I may be off base here but it sounds like the fact she has issues with males may need to be worked on with a therapist. It may just be a difficult interaction she had but it is worth digging into in case there is somethine more underlying it that needs therapy for her and maybe other action against the perpertator.

    Her reaction to a minor indiscretion is rather extreme and this is why I think she needs therapy to help her put things in context and be more accepting of others failings. This will be a skill that helps her have less friction in life and hopefully the therapy will give her more personal peace of mind.

    ParentingAutism said:
    I am going to talk to the school. 

    What are you going to tell them here? That the teacher has nodded off in the classroom and should be removed or that your daughter has an issue with men so they should affect the teacher and all the other students to accommodate it.

    The question of fairness needs to be raised here - I understand your daughter has needs but if it takes extreme measures to meet these which affect others, is it the right course of action.

    Maybe a starting point is to talk through with your daughter WHY she doesn't like him. Help her rationalise and process the things she doesn't like - talk her through considering others and see if she comes to the conclusions on her own that are practical. This would be where I would go.

    What are the real alternatives here? Impact a teachers career because of one studens perspective? The upheaval of changing class or school in the hope you get a female teacher? Help your daughter address her issues?

    This isn't intended as an attack on you by the way, just trying to help put it in perspective so apologies if I have offended you.

Reply
  • 2 months ago
    ParentingAutism said:
    That teacher is male and she struggles with males. It took nearly 3 years for her to work with him. That teacher slept, yes slept, when she had him. 

    I may be off base here but it sounds like the fact she has issues with males may need to be worked on with a therapist. It may just be a difficult interaction she had but it is worth digging into in case there is somethine more underlying it that needs therapy for her and maybe other action against the perpertator.

    Her reaction to a minor indiscretion is rather extreme and this is why I think she needs therapy to help her put things in context and be more accepting of others failings. This will be a skill that helps her have less friction in life and hopefully the therapy will give her more personal peace of mind.

    ParentingAutism said:
    I am going to talk to the school. 

    What are you going to tell them here? That the teacher has nodded off in the classroom and should be removed or that your daughter has an issue with men so they should affect the teacher and all the other students to accommodate it.

    The question of fairness needs to be raised here - I understand your daughter has needs but if it takes extreme measures to meet these which affect others, is it the right course of action.

    Maybe a starting point is to talk through with your daughter WHY she doesn't like him. Help her rationalise and process the things she doesn't like - talk her through considering others and see if she comes to the conclusions on her own that are practical. This would be where I would go.

    What are the real alternatives here? Impact a teachers career because of one studens perspective? The upheaval of changing class or school in the hope you get a female teacher? Help your daughter address her issues?

    This isn't intended as an attack on you by the way, just trying to help put it in perspective so apologies if I have offended you.

Children
  • 2 months ago in reply to Iain

    Don't worry, you have not offended me, and thank you for your reply. 

    I have spoken to her. She has explained that she doesn't feel comfortable around him because he is 'large' and that he says things that upset her. She understands that what he says is not in a harsh way or in any shape or form to upset her and that he is just being friendly and joking around. 

    She has been in therapy for multiple things her whole life, including talking about her fear and feelings around males. I have also asked her how he helps her and she replied that he frequently checks in with her, and tries to help her find solutions to her problems. This has made her realise that he isn't the 'bad man' that she viewed him and that he is there to help her. Yes, he did fall asleep, but I explained the reasons as to why he may have fallen asleep,

    My response to finding out he fell asleep whilst with her, just worried me because of her needs. She needs constant supervision and i do panic when I'm not with her incase she has an incident.