Published on 12, July, 2020
Long story short:
Chloe, my daughter, had a teacher for her lesson. That teacher is male and she struggles with males. It took nearly 3 years for her to work with him. That teacher slept, yes slept, when she had him.
As a result, she does not want to work with him anymore, understandable.
Her school keeps putting the teacher with her and this works her up for the whole day. They do put a female with her when she has him but she does not want him at all.
SCHOOL TRIP:
She needs to share a car next week with her staff (who she loves) and also another student and the students staff (who is the teacher who fell asleep). Does that make sense?
Chloe's staff needs to drive because the other staff can't.
Chloe will be sat in the back with the other student (both students get on really well).
My fear is that her being around that staff member is going to ruin the day, especially the drives. She is already saying that she can't be bothered to go on the trip if he is in the car with her. This trip is a theme park which she LOVES so when she is saying this, it does worry me.
If anyone has any ideas on what I can do, it is GREATLY appreciated.
I am going to talk to the school.
TIA
Lucy
If Chloe and the other student get along as well as you say, is it possible that this will help to distract her and take her mind off the male member of staff being in the front passenger seat?
As you have said Chloe loves theme parks, it would be such a shame for her if she pulls out of the trip.
Is there some way you can 'sell' the idea of her sharing a car with the male staff member? As she progresses through life, there's a high probability that she will encounter people that she doesn't want to be around, which she may not be able to do anything about. Do you think Chloe might be more willing to share a car with the male member of staff if you were to put a positive spin on it?
For example, "If you can cope with sharing a car with [male staff member] for part of your day, then you might find it easier to cope with other challenging situations in the future." If you remind Chloe that she will be in the car with her friend, it might help to make the situation seem more palatable.
I'm clutching at straws here and thinking of a possible solution off the top of my head, so feel free to dismiss my suggestion.
Thank you, this is very helpful actually. I do use this already for her future. This is what I've said to her today "In life, there is going to be people who you do not like and won't get on with. This is ok. But does Chloe think she can be REALLY brave and share the car with [male teacher]".
I've also said that her staff is there to help her and to keep her safe, how much fun she will have annoying the teachers in the car (she shared the car 2 years ago with the same student and the male teacher. The other student put on screaming goat noises and songs the whole way there and back. Sorry to the teachers but they all found it funny). Also that she does not need to spend the day with the male staff, and can do her own thing if she would like to.
I've also said that when she gets home, she can watch Criminal Minds in her bedroom (we always use a preferred activity after a non-preferred one as an incentive/reward). And after such a long day, it's gives her time by herself to decompress and process everything.