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Help - don't know what to do

struggling mum

Hi, Hope this is the appropriate place, I didn't know where else to go. My fiance (3 years) has suprised me with a week long holiday abroad in june (lucky me) but its not with my (or his) son. Whilst I appreciate his done this to have some couple time and give me a good rest (its been an extremely challenging year) I feel guilty going without my son. My son is 10 (who his arranged to stay with my mum and he has a son 7 who he sees weekends) On the one hand it would be lovely to have some 'me' time but I feel horrendously guilty at the thought of telling my son I'm going away and his not. Should I refuse to go? 

I've mentioned I feel I need to know 'the kids are sorted' and mention was made we'd take them for a UK holiday in the school holidays. I took my son away just him and I last year on our first holiday abroad and it was a bit challenging but he enjoyed and I'm worried he would feel he was being left out. 

Basically I feel torn - of course son is number one - always has been always will. I lack confidence in feeling as tho i'm making right decisions and I just need to hear from others what would you do if I may ask? 

Many thanks in advance x

Parents

  • Thank-you both for your replies - they are very much appreciated. I think some enjoyable activities and to Skype are great ideas. I also very much like your idea Intense of the logical answer you suggested I think that could work really well.

    I also think its worth thinking what my son thinks as suggested as have all these thoughts in my mind but of course he may have a different perspective. I think if I do go there is little doubt he'll be spoilt. I guess I need to know if its makes me a bad mum going away this time without my son. I think it would of been easier if it was a long weekend rather than 7 days.... but could very well be a long needed break from the daily stresses of life. I just need to make sure he has his break too. 

    Thanks again both for your thoughts - Hoping I will sleep better tonight :-)

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  • Thank-you both for your replies - they are very much appreciated. I think some enjoyable activities and to Skype are great ideas. I also very much like your idea Intense of the logical answer you suggested I think that could work really well.

    I also think its worth thinking what my son thinks as suggested as have all these thoughts in my mind but of course he may have a different perspective. I think if I do go there is little doubt he'll be spoilt. I guess I need to know if its makes me a bad mum going away this time without my son. I think it would of been easier if it was a long weekend rather than 7 days.... but could very well be a long needed break from the daily stresses of life. I just need to make sure he has his break too. 

    Thanks again both for your thoughts - Hoping I will sleep better tonight :-)

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