Constant battles and a rant from an overwhelmed mama...

I have seven children. Three have a multitude of SEND - ASD, ADHD, Tourette syndrome, PDA, Dyslexia, severe Anxiety, sleep 'difficulties', significant learning difficulties. Some of my 'Neurotypical' children have anxiety, one has depression with anxiety and others have minor medical issues.

I do not work, as I am a full time, unpaid carer. However, my life is often 24/7 and I run on bare minimum sleep, at best. I home educate the older two Neurodiverse children, as neither of them were coping, and since, I have noticed a marked improvement in their overall mental health. 

I am very isolated and rarely see 'friends' - mostly, as I have lost them due to being unable to participate in the usual social activities, keep coffee dates or 'go out'. None of them had children with additional needs, and they couldn't understand or comprehend anything I told them about daily life with my children.
My mother passed away 3.5 years ago now, and although she didn't fully understand our children's conditions and needs, she was supportive and she always listened and tried her best to help where she could. My father she left behind is very much the opposite of who my mother was, and he believes that the children are 'naughty'. So very little in the way of help and support there! I don't have any other family that I speak to.

It is hard enough caring for the children collectively - especially as I'm always having to juggle everything, and to ensure the NT children still get attention and time with me, as the three ND require a lot of help and support. Nights are awful and I never get a full nights' sleep - some nights I don't sleep at all. Despite being on Melatonin, it does little to help them. I'm currently seeking further help, advice and education surrounding this. 

All the above is hard enough - although it is manageable most of the time. However, as if life isn't hard enough already, PIP and DLA love to throw a brick at me, to try to knock me off balance - especially as all THREE came at once!! I have now completed the PIP forms for the eldest two, but I'm in the middle of doing the DLA for my youngest. On top of this, I've just had to do an EHCP annual review and am having to now do an EHCP application for my youngest. On top of this, the constant meetings with the school grate on me, additional paperwork and appointments are tedious and draining... and then there are the battles with society in general and advocating every single day for my children!!

All three ND children have Tourette syndrome. Two of them have Coprolalia and Copropraxia - involuntary use of vulgarities (spoken and gestures). The amount of people who think it is acceptable to tell my children off or shout at them, make comments and pass judgements about them and me are disgraceful. There are very few days where someone doesn't get hot under the collar because one of them have had a vocal Tic - I am fed up of having to stand up for them and myself - why should I have to explain to people that they have TS? Why should I have to defend them all the time, against ignorant people who should keep their opinions and judgements to themselves?! The worst was a few weeks ago, my son was nervously waiting to see the dentist - he was experiencing motor and vocal Tics at the time (with vulgarities in the mix). A man, much bigger than I, started shouting at him and telling him off for his 'language'. I literally snapped - I got between the two of them, and into the man's face to tell him that my son has TS and he has absolutely no right to tell him off. I've never done anything like it before, but I became like a lioness defending her cub. The damage he caused my son by his actions, however, are lasting. He now feels that he MUST wear his "sunflower lanyard" while out in public, and will not leave the house unless he has this on him. 

Constantly advocating for my children to have the same rights as NT children is exhausting. Schools are terrible - and now my youngest is about to transition to the same high school my daughter left a while ago. I didn't know half of what I know now, but I am arming myself with every piece of legislation, in preparation for the battles I know I am about to face - although, this takes yet more time away from doing anything for the house and myself. Urgh. It's just exhausting and overwhelming. 

My other issue at present, is that I've had some health issues over the past couple of years. Nothing major, it has turned out. However, I have developed anxiety and migraines. The migraines seem to be under control now, but the anxiety is awful. I self-referred to the Wellbeing service and am currently working with them, in hope that this will help. I have health anxiety - that is, constantly worrying about my own health. Not for the reason that I am worried about my health, but that if anything happens to me, how would my children get the help and support they all need - particularly the three with very complex needs... Despite not getting sleep with the children's needs, when I am free to get to sleep, my anxieties are now keeping me awake.

Unsure really what the point, exactly, of this post is... I guess to get things off my chest - in hope that someone who understands can say, yes! This is me, too! Or I'm going through the same... I don't know...