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worries

struggling mum

Hi all,

Relatively new here - since my 10 yr old son's diagnoses of HFA/Aspergers couple of weeks ago have been feeling really positive because finally I feel I have the missing piece of the jigsaw so to speak. Another reason is because I have spent 10 years thinking I have to be the worst parent imaginable for my child to become verbally and physically aggressive. I've been getting as much info as possible which has helped alot and taken our relationship from absolute crisis point to the beginning of recovery. 

Here is the current problem... I'm unable to sleep yet again as I don't know what to expect in the future. My son (outside of the behavioural difficulties) is a gentle and very sensitive soul. I'm reading that the vast majority of children on the spectrum are bullied something my son has already experienced alot of and it breaks my heart. I intend on helping with social skills as much as possible but its hard as his motivation to try new things and anything he deams 'educational' is non existent. As his mum I'm 'embarassing' which I understand with him being a boy but makes his desire to listen to me less. He sees his father occassionally due to distance but lets just say not an option as good role model material. 

The other issue keeping me awake is this.. I know every individual on or off the spectrum is different, but what am I to expect when his an adult? Will he be independent, able to have functioning relationships, employment and own housing? I certainly hope so but need someone with experience to help me gather a realistic idea of what the future holds.

Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for reading x

Parents

  • Hi

    My son started secondary school last September, a huge shock. He does not have a statement, because he is mild, so I chose a school 6 miles away which is an autism supercentre. Considering all the implications of such a change, he is doing well, academically. The school are definitely making sure he does not 'fly under the radar' as he is undisruptive but has huge social anxiety.

    My son is very much a loner, wishes not to make friends and seeks to only stay at home with his electronics. It has been difficult to perform normal life with him because of that. I have a daughter of 8, on whom my son relies as a friend and playmate. However, it does mean that we are both held to the house.

    One thing as a single working mum I found is that there is no childcare during school holidays for 12 year olds.

    So, at present it is a struggle with him. I am hoping, like my brother, at around the age of 16, he suddenly becomes sociable.

    At the moment, I am awaiting preparations for having a CAF meeting to possibly help him and my daughter and I find a good way forward with what is an 'at home' difficulty.

Reply

  • Hi

    My son started secondary school last September, a huge shock. He does not have a statement, because he is mild, so I chose a school 6 miles away which is an autism supercentre. Considering all the implications of such a change, he is doing well, academically. The school are definitely making sure he does not 'fly under the radar' as he is undisruptive but has huge social anxiety.

    My son is very much a loner, wishes not to make friends and seeks to only stay at home with his electronics. It has been difficult to perform normal life with him because of that. I have a daughter of 8, on whom my son relies as a friend and playmate. However, it does mean that we are both held to the house.

    One thing as a single working mum I found is that there is no childcare during school holidays for 12 year olds.

    So, at present it is a struggle with him. I am hoping, like my brother, at around the age of 16, he suddenly becomes sociable.

    At the moment, I am awaiting preparations for having a CAF meeting to possibly help him and my daughter and I find a good way forward with what is an 'at home' difficulty.

Children
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