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worries

struggling mum

Hi all,

Relatively new here - since my 10 yr old son's diagnoses of HFA/Aspergers couple of weeks ago have been feeling really positive because finally I feel I have the missing piece of the jigsaw so to speak. Another reason is because I have spent 10 years thinking I have to be the worst parent imaginable for my child to become verbally and physically aggressive. I've been getting as much info as possible which has helped alot and taken our relationship from absolute crisis point to the beginning of recovery. 

Here is the current problem... I'm unable to sleep yet again as I don't know what to expect in the future. My son (outside of the behavioural difficulties) is a gentle and very sensitive soul. I'm reading that the vast majority of children on the spectrum are bullied something my son has already experienced alot of and it breaks my heart. I intend on helping with social skills as much as possible but its hard as his motivation to try new things and anything he deams 'educational' is non existent. As his mum I'm 'embarassing' which I understand with him being a boy but makes his desire to listen to me less. He sees his father occassionally due to distance but lets just say not an option as good role model material. 

The other issue keeping me awake is this.. I know every individual on or off the spectrum is different, but what am I to expect when his an adult? Will he be independent, able to have functioning relationships, employment and own housing? I certainly hope so but need someone with experience to help me gather a realistic idea of what the future holds.

Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for reading x

Parents

  • Some people with Asperger's become more independent than others, it's not uncommon for high-functioning people to be with their parents at an older age than neurotypical people.

    There are options however.  If he obviously cannot manage independently there are things like support accommodation and he can get assessed by adult services as to what support he needs when you get to that stage.

    Perhaps you could get him some social stories and read some books to help you understand autism and work out what areas he needs support with that way.  Socialising is a big one though, because people on the spectrum can be naive and open to abuse (look up mate crime) and encountering hostility from saying the wrong thing.

    It's not all doom and gloom, some people on the spectrum have good careers and are independent, although there is likely to be a lot of underlying stress from attempting to fit in.

Reply

  • Some people with Asperger's become more independent than others, it's not uncommon for high-functioning people to be with their parents at an older age than neurotypical people.

    There are options however.  If he obviously cannot manage independently there are things like support accommodation and he can get assessed by adult services as to what support he needs when you get to that stage.

    Perhaps you could get him some social stories and read some books to help you understand autism and work out what areas he needs support with that way.  Socialising is a big one though, because people on the spectrum can be naive and open to abuse (look up mate crime) and encountering hostility from saying the wrong thing.

    It's not all doom and gloom, some people on the spectrum have good careers and are independent, although there is likely to be a lot of underlying stress from attempting to fit in.

Children
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