anxiety with lunch time and P.E.

my 9yr old daughter still awaiting diagnosis but we have been told most likely that she has aspergers, things are getting to the point of where we dont where to turn, school seems to be helpless as are we.

things came to a head in October 2013, she has recently been diagnosed with Coeliac disease but leading up to that she was refusung to eat and everything made her feel sick and its been a real struggle, well me and teachers agreed for the time being until she starts to feel better she could sit in teachers office to eat as my daughter is struggling with the noise and crowds etc, its been making her ill to the point where she would rather not eat than be with others at lunchtime.

its been 3 months and teachers are getting increasingly worried as she is really isolating herself at lunch not wanting to mix at all and P.E. is an absolute NO GO!! she has a doctors letter for this as we thought it was the pains she had been getting from the Coeliac disease, but now she has been on a strict gluten free diet now for 5 weeks and is generally eating much better which is brilliant but now it looks as though the teachers would like to try and start getting her to integrate a little more and its worrying me sick as i know she will be a nervous wreck everyday, we have had severe meltdowns over lunchtimes in the past over things like "people are looking at her, people eat with mouths open, smells, noise etc"

i do feel as if school maybe pushing her a little bit and it could all seriously backfire on them and i will be the one having to deal with the behaviour at home, she sleeps with a jug (we call it her sick jug) as she feels sick all the time or so she says, she hasnt actually been sick, it frightens her to death, i think in the past there have been sick children in the hall and she has often spoke of children being sick, its the sheer panic on her face when she talks about it, she comes up and down the stairs several times before actually settling due to her telling me she feels sick and dizzy and always thirsty which i know she is suffering from an anxiety issue, its just so hard to deal with and teachers ask us what to do, we have struggled for years and its not getting any easier, i just wondered if anyone has some tips that may help me and her to deal with this, we are all quite new to this as we are getting our heads round the fact that she may have ASD so please excuse me as i have been quite naive and feel i need training as a parent as the paediatrician said we will have to change everything we do in order to help her cope, its a nightmare, really need some advice, many thanks in advance , worried mum xx

Parents
  • If your daughter cannot handle school, potentially you could keep her off with anxiety and ask the school to send work home for her to do.  No education in the world is worth your child's health.

    She sounds incredibly anxious and clearly cannot handle her school.  Something needs to happen urgently before she becomes very ill.

    A school has a duty to make adjustments for a child who is suffering in this way.

    Don't be scared to fight for what she needs just because she doesn't yet have a diagnosis.  She may end up traumatised and it will take a lot of time to recover.

    My 12yo has just been diagnosed and her school would not listen, she was in such state of anxiety and depression over school, melting down and self-harming at home, that in the end I kept her off with anxiety.  She had a mental health assessment with CAMHS which found she had generalised anxiety and we are moving her to a better school.  Despite asking her school for work to do at home they ignored us.  In the time she was there, they refused to accept she wasn't coping and denied her any support.

    Now, despite not having been in the school this year at all, being off with anxiety all that time, she is still traumatised and scared she will never get the memory of that school and how they treated her out of her head.  Don't let that happen to your daughter.

    And as an adult with Asperger's myself, I can tell you, PTSD is almost impossible to get rid of.

Reply
  • If your daughter cannot handle school, potentially you could keep her off with anxiety and ask the school to send work home for her to do.  No education in the world is worth your child's health.

    She sounds incredibly anxious and clearly cannot handle her school.  Something needs to happen urgently before she becomes very ill.

    A school has a duty to make adjustments for a child who is suffering in this way.

    Don't be scared to fight for what she needs just because she doesn't yet have a diagnosis.  She may end up traumatised and it will take a lot of time to recover.

    My 12yo has just been diagnosed and her school would not listen, she was in such state of anxiety and depression over school, melting down and self-harming at home, that in the end I kept her off with anxiety.  She had a mental health assessment with CAMHS which found she had generalised anxiety and we are moving her to a better school.  Despite asking her school for work to do at home they ignored us.  In the time she was there, they refused to accept she wasn't coping and denied her any support.

    Now, despite not having been in the school this year at all, being off with anxiety all that time, she is still traumatised and scared she will never get the memory of that school and how they treated her out of her head.  Don't let that happen to your daughter.

    And as an adult with Asperger's myself, I can tell you, PTSD is almost impossible to get rid of.

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