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False memories

NAS93107

Hi. I'm new. I'm the parent of an adult son with ASD. 

We have a great relationship and always have. However, lately he has started making comments about memories of things that just didn't happen the way he sees them. In some cases they didn't happen at all. 

These comments are hurtful especially as I'm his main emotional support. My question is ,is this an autistic trait? If so,how do I handle it? How do I stop myself feeling so sad and frustrated by it? 

Currently I'm not saying anything but these comments are incredibly hurtful. Do I gently correct him or do I let it go? :-(

Parents

  • Peoples memories of events vary so much, what can seem vitally important to one can be forgotten by another. I don't think this is an autistic thing, just how memory works. That he remembers things differently to you is unsurprising, that he's able to express how he feels about things from the past is good, but maybe some ground rules need to be set, like owning your feelings, not blaming another or calling them liars when memories and the feelings they bring differ. Maybe seeing a family therapist could help as they will set boundaries and allow you both space to say what you need to say in a safe space.

    Without wishing to be accusatory, how do you know some of his memories are false? Were you there for each memory he says he has?

Reply

  • Peoples memories of events vary so much, what can seem vitally important to one can be forgotten by another. I don't think this is an autistic thing, just how memory works. That he remembers things differently to you is unsurprising, that he's able to express how he feels about things from the past is good, but maybe some ground rules need to be set, like owning your feelings, not blaming another or calling them liars when memories and the feelings they bring differ. Maybe seeing a family therapist could help as they will set boundaries and allow you both space to say what you need to say in a safe space.

    Without wishing to be accusatory, how do you know some of his memories are false? Were you there for each memory he says he has?

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