Daughter with AS takes 3 hours to get to bed... Help!

Thanks to you all for your kind replies and suggestions.

I want you all to know that my wife and I really do appreciate all of your comments - it's a comfort to know that we are not alone! I'm so glad I found this site!

After last week's upset and hours of talking, my daughter did actually manage to not drink quite so much in the evening, and get to bed a little earlier - only half an hour or so - but I praised her copiously the next day.

However, unless I or my wife monitor every glass of water, every moment, and keep checking with her how long she is spending tucking her bed in and going to the toilet, then it soon slips back to how it was. We just don't have the time or the energy to maintain this level of vigilance.

But the small let-up in the routine gave us all time to breathe and reflect. Not quite so stressed at the moment..!

Thank you to tudorfamily2010 for your suggestion of Melotonin, my wife and I will talk about that later!

And to TEA - yes, I'm sure there are sensory issues too. She does like the extra weight on her bed and the feeling of security, but not how hot it makes her feel. She has a winter-weight duvet, a light blanket, a heavy fluffy blanket and two dressing gowns on her bed, so that she can remove various bits of it depending on how hot she gets!
She is also very sensitive to loud sound - if her younger sister starts shouting or having a temper tantrum (as 5 year olds do!) then she immediately sticks her fingers in her ears and complains it will give her a headache!

And to mozlady - yes, we did the 'sitting with her until she goes to sleep' thing too, for years and years. Pretty much right from the day she was born until she was about 8 or 9. Every night. Plus when she woke in the night we'd have to sit with her again for up to an hour! Trouble was that we (my wife or I) would fall asleep too, and wake up hours later feeling terrible, squished up in a chair or propped up against her bed!

Even now, as she approaches her 13th birthday, she still HAS to have a torch to see her way up the stairs to bed (well, to start her bedtime routine), even though we live on a lighted street, and it's not even dark when she goes up!

We definitely can't change any routine to any great extent.

Time to talk to the professionals again, I feel.

We can so empthised with you! My 6 year old is at a point now where he will not go to bed untill 9pm and he will not go to sleep without either me or hubby with him. He has to  have soft music playing the background (something like enya - really soft and soothing). His bedroon has to have light in it and he has to have a very heavy duvet with a blanket on the top to feel secure! Its the same ritual everynight and if it changes all hell breaks out. Its been hard work to get us where we are at the moment but it seems to be working. It usally take us around 30-45 mins (depending on how wired he is before bedtime) to get him to go to sleep which is better than the 2-3 hours it was taking. School have mentioned nothing to us about him being tired etc so we feel it works for him so we stick to it. We tried everything, gettting cross. dosnt work makes him worse! controlled crying allsort. You have to do what works for you but try anything, you will get there.  Routing for you!

Moxlady

Hello space monkey,you and your wife should know your not alone with how your feeling at the moment ,it can be very worrying and confusing ...............as two why?????.................(thinking  how can we help her)...........have you looked into whether it's a sensory  issue ..................you mentioned that she likes the sheets tucked in ,could be that she want's that tight, snug feel or the feeling she needs a heavier weight on her thats heavier than her blankets.my daughter too drinks so!!!!! much water she's got a few oc'd things going on .Have you spoke to your daughters doctor about ????keep in touch.    Tea

hi my name is maria i have a 6 and 1/2 year old son with the same problem the peaditrian prescribed him with melitonin a natural medicine that calms the person down ready for bed the mg depends on the hight wieght of the child/adult. this will take aroud 2-3weeks to get in to her system but will/should eventually help your situation. probaly best go give about hour before you want your daughter to go to bed you can either get capsuales with powder wich is easy to hide in her drinks or a tablet form whichever is more suitable for her

i hope this helps and all the best xxxxx 

This also sounds like an OCD problem, and if all else fails, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy should be an option. Your daughter may also have some sensory sensitivity, like not being able to get to sleep until she has fully emptied her bladder. I know that I struggle to sleep if this is the case, which is why I regularly go to the loo prior to sleep

I don't know if this is much help, but as a person with AS I have had similar issues to the ones you mention, although not as severe. I have a bit of an obsession with water consumption, based on the need to drink 8 glasses of water a day. I always drink quite a bit before I go to bed, and I often go to the loo quite regularly just before bed. I used to wet the bed not that long ago, rather than get told off by my parents for constantly interrupting their sleep. I don't do this anymore and I drink far less. This is what helped me: my Dad told me that drinking lots of water is not healthy, which it is not, and, being a very rational, logical, person I immediately cut down on my drink. So maybe you could explain to your daughter the potential dangers of drinking too much water