Forced to leave Uni

NAS92890 said:

They were told they should have asked for more help but their ASD makes reaching out to strangers for help almost impossible. 

First question - does the person in question in question have a diagnosis of autism? If so, was it diagnosed on their application to uni?

If it is no to both then they are not going to have a leg to stand on as they were not identified as being disabled and hence no special treatment would have been expected.

If the uni did know then I would ask them to supply their guidelines on the support offered to autistic students and find where they failed to supply this.

Lastly I would ask for a detailed note on why they forced you child out. It is possible there is some other situation that you may not have been made aware of which may not be related to the autism (eg getting into a fight). I'm not saying this is the case but I have seen a lot of cases of people trying to use their autism as an excuse for plain bad behaviour and it would be wise to rule this out.

Once you have a reasonable understanding of what has actually happened then you can made a more informed decision on whether to get litigious about it.

In the meantime I would consider getting your child into seeing a therapist to work on their issues - just make sure the therapist has experience of working with autistic patients. This should give your child a safe space to work through whatever is going on and hopefully guide them to resolving the issues and building their life in the post education world.

Thanks. 
yes they have an autism diagnosis, got it while in year 13 and applied for DSA with their student finance application. 
I attended the meeting at which my child was told they either had to withdraw from their course, in which case the Uni would help them find a place on a course elsewhere from September, or the matter would go to a committee where the very likely outcome would be that they would be kicked out with no further support. So basically, resign or get fired. 

my child has found their course difficult- the pressure at Cambridge is immense - but they really felt they had turned a corner this year and I had seen how much more positive they were feeling. 
Their biggest struggle is with communication and it seems this is what the current situation comes down to. a lot of the support available at Uni requires the student to reach out and ask for it, which is such a barrier for my child. 

I am actively looking for a therapist for them at the moment  - I hope we can find the right person for them.

It’s very hard to support them at the moment and I feel like I’m doing it alone. Nobody else except their dad knows what has just happened and he is a brilliant dad in other ways but can’t deal with anything remotely emotional. 

NAS92890 said:

basically, resign or get fired.

Since the uni had prior knowledge of the disability, did they execute their duty of care to make the course accessible in the way that your child needed?

If there is any reasonable indication of this being failed then it is time to gather evidence and lawyer up.

If they did provide this but your child struggled and couldn't keep up, then the uni does not have a duty to pick them up, encourage them on and pull them through - the uni does need to provide a degree of support but understanding what is their responsibility and what is unfortunately a lack of ability to cope from your childs side will be crucial in establishing if there is any blame.

NAS92890 said:

It’s very hard to support them at the moment and I feel like I’m doing it alone.

Let your child know you are there for them and you will support them - this is what they need to hear to know they are not alone.

You have the community here who can help on specific questions so don't be afraid to ask.

NAS92890 said:

Nobody else except their dad knows what has just happened and he is a brilliant dad in other ways but can’t deal with anything remotely emotional. 

Maybe don't refer it to your husband as an emotional support issue. Let them know your child needs help with the practical, process oriented parts of this situation and his support will help them too.

If he does not do the "soft skills" part well then let him deal with the uni, a lawyer etc - solid practical tasks he is probably suited to.

He may want to move out of his comfort zone for your child too - you won't know until you ask, but is sounds like the approach needs to be tailored to his predisposition.

Just remember to thank him sincerely when he does offer to help (as I think he will) and appreciate that it may well come at a cost for him emotionally. Let him know you know this. He will probably appreciate the empathy.

If he can't deal with it then keep the focus on practical issues and don't push further - any help will be useful.

Are there other life changing issues going on with your child at the same time which may play a part here? I notice you use they/them pronouns so if they are going through issues with identity then this can be a tremedous distraction to their studies too.

No need to respond to this if you do not want to of course - I just thought it may be a complicating factor.

NAS92890 said:

basically, resign or get fired.

Since the uni had prior knowledge of the disability, did they execute their duty of care to make the course accessible in the way that your child needed?

If there is any reasonable indication of this being failed then it is time to gather evidence and lawyer up.

If they did provide this but your child struggled and couldn't keep up, then the uni does not have a duty to pick them up, encourage them on and pull them through - the uni does need to provide a degree of support but understanding what is their responsibility and what is unfortunately a lack of ability to cope from your childs side will be crucial in establishing if there is any blame.

NAS92890 said:

It’s very hard to support them at the moment and I feel like I’m doing it alone.

Let your child know you are there for them and you will support them - this is what they need to hear to know they are not alone.

You have the community here who can help on specific questions so don't be afraid to ask.

NAS92890 said:

Nobody else except their dad knows what has just happened and he is a brilliant dad in other ways but can’t deal with anything remotely emotional. 

Maybe don't refer it to your husband as an emotional support issue. Let them know your child needs help with the practical, process oriented parts of this situation and his support will help them too.

If he does not do the "soft skills" part well then let him deal with the uni, a lawyer etc - solid practical tasks he is probably suited to.

He may want to move out of his comfort zone for your child too - you won't know until you ask, but is sounds like the approach needs to be tailored to his predisposition.

Just remember to thank him sincerely when he does offer to help (as I think he will) and appreciate that it may well come at a cost for him emotionally. Let him know you know this. He will probably appreciate the empathy.

If he can't deal with it then keep the focus on practical issues and don't push further - any help will be useful.

Are there other life changing issues going on with your child at the same time which may play a part here? I notice you use they/them pronouns so if they are going through issues with identity then this can be a tremedous distraction to their studies too.

No need to respond to this if you do not want to of course - I just thought it may be a complicating factor.

Thanks Iain, I appreciate your advice. 
I wont go further into details here for now but it has done me so much good just to be able to talk about this and receive sympathetic and practical responses.