Help!

Thank you Hope - it really helps to read that other folk understand where I (and especially my son) am coming from.  We've managed to get an appointment with CAMHS in mid-February so quite a wait but not too long really.  He's having a really bad day today :-(

I have a severe dog phobia. Dogs are unpredictable, and even if they are friendly, I fear that they will invade my personal space, sniff me or try and jump up at me - this has, in fact, happened before, and I know it could happen again.

I am fine with dogs I know very well, but some breeds I will always be wary of: staffies, bull terriers, rottweilers, dobermans, alsations, jack-russels (can snap), or any snappy breed in general.

I think CBT could help him. My phobia developed around your son's age and has got worse over time, so early help is vital to prevent it from spiralling.

Thank you everyone ... I really appreciate your comments.  Dunk, I especially appreciate you giving me an insight ... my lad really needs to be outdoors.

We have several friends with dogs and about 10 days ago we spent an evening with friends who have a big old lab.  DS2 was really worried about getting bitten so I asked my friends to reassure him ... they sent a text "from the dog" promising that he wouldn't bite and was really looking forward to meeting him.  DS2 then wrote a letter to the dog reminding him he'd said he wouldn't bite and that he (DS2) in return wouldn't be unkind to him.  Our friends made the point of being outside with their dog when we arrived so that DS2 wouldnt' be intimidated by meeting him indoors (and he may have barked).  

We're due to visit CAMHS again soon so thanks for the pointer ... I'd honestly not thought of that.  I've been so panicky about it today trying to "fix" it that all reason had gone out of the window.  

Thank you.

GG :-)

I need to be out doors as much as possible. Its not just about the sunlight. Even the fresh air and wind and weather eases away my tensions as does having space between me and other people. Its one of my safe places so is really important.

Now to point two. Barking dogs send shock waves through me like nothing else does. Some of this may be due to experiences when young but the effect is made much worse when I'm stressed or tired.

Put the two together! My garden is my secret place but when a dog starts barking when I go into my garden it is like someone robbing me. Similar if I want to go for a walk but a dog stops me going where I want to get to. The injustice and anger and helplessness can leave me crushed and in tears.

If it is possible to sit and stay calm and let the dog go past then there is a real sence of relief and success in having saved the situation. Can you help your son to learn this technique? It is bizarre that it is not the fact that it is a "dog" that is the issue as he/we can cope with some dogs but the humiliation and loss that has such a strong effect certainly for me.

Dunk

My son doesn't like dogs either, for the same reasons as outlined above.  But he's ok if they're on a lead as he knows they can't get to him.   Would he appreciate that?  But if it's now a phobia, then explaining is unlikely to work. I think Intense's analysis of the situation is correct.  There is also the issue of him being indoors + a dog getting over excited.  CBT may or may not help but I do think you shd make enquiries.  

Even irrespective of the potential for biting, the unpredictability is that some dogs are boisterous and just jump up, intending friendliness but shocking and scaring the recipient.

Seconded on the unpredictability. There are too many outsized or aggressive dogs around, even pit bull terriers.

Too many people nowadays walk around with rottweilers and dobermans they clearly cannot control properly. These dogs might be friendly natured, but to a stranger passing their unpredictability cannot be ignored, and lets face it, the intention of most owners having these dogs is to intimidate others on a "don't mess with me or I'll set my dog on you" basis.

Then there are those owners with out of control dogs that annoy everyone else, and if you protest you get told "my dog has every bit as much right as you to be here"

Its not so much the dogs but the people with them......

But with autism an inclination to anticipate negative outcomes, and erratic behaviours that dogs may perceive as unfamiliar, must inevitably make things harder. They say dogs pick up on fear in humans and react on a "pecking order" basis - here's a human I can boss around", but more importantly they react to "different" looking humans.

Also sudden barking or barking from different directions, will have impact.

So its not so much how he relates to dogs but a difference between dogs he knows, and which know him, and dogs he doesn't know who can present a very real threat.

So this is very likely to be an issue for him.

How to resolve it - well there are lots of people other than just with autism, who are scared by dogs. Originally there were some constraints on the more dangerous dogs, like pit bulls, but this has "gone soft".

I think there needs to be more restriction on having big or aggressive dogs. I really don't understand the mentality of people who keep dobermans and rottweilers in urban environments where they cannot possibly get enough exercise. And people with pit bulls etc., well we know most of them are drug dealers, so its not just the pit bulls the law is failing to address.

Can you ask CAMHS for some therapy to address his anxiety?  Maybe he needs some CBT?

Many autistic children are scared of dogs, I think it's the unpredictability of them combined with the heightened awareness of danger (awareness of potential for bites).

As he was OK with the Yorkshire terrier that will likely have been because it's way too small to see as seriously dangerous, plus he was inside with adults all around so he felt safer.

It is worthwhile enquiring about therapy because he may become agoraphobic if it gets to rule his life.