Autistic 17 year old girl can't cope with College what's the alternative

She's young. I wouldn't worry. 

One of the biggest problems we face is that we mature a LOT slower than our peers. I must have been 5-8 years behind mine emotionally at 17. Unfortunately, my mother thought I'd get it together if she kicked me out to fend for myself. I would strongly advise against this.

I'm nearly 50 and working on finally going to Uni but only because I never had support and had to work non-stop to try and stay alive! I'm not too bitter!  But I've achieved quite a good deal starting around 27 and am told I could start school at this point by working on a doctorate.  

There are reasons dating back to early psychoanalysis as to why we mature slower, and it mostly has to do with a difference in how we internally access and use Language. We miss a lot of social cues, but we also aren't easily hypnotised by the masses. 

It sounds to me like she needs real wisdom, guidance, rules for life. And I always suggest finding ADHD and Dyslexic friends who better understand us. Our ADHD friends might push us a little more than we would on our own, but they understand us. 

I'd afford her time regroup from school. Then look into local crafters and makers, something to spark her interest. She doesn't have to make a career, just find things she can be creative with. She needs to feel like she succeeds at things and allowed time to begin delve into a bit of philosophy or psychology which will help her have a better understanding of the social world. Next, help her build a work ethic with anything maybe a few times a week. 

One problem is often just a lack of exposure to what the world can offer and where she might fit into it. And once we have a vision for what we might be able to offer, we need practical advice, step-by-step as to how to reach that goal. 

Lastly, there is a great deal of medical research out there finding that Autistics and ADHD'rs have biological anxiety, which is made worse by society. Anti-Anxiety medication can help, but anti-depressants will make it MUCH worse due to these drugs being designed to target different things in the human body. However, Anti-Anxiety medication shouldn't be a long-term solution, but a back up for days when one needs clarity to Problem Solve whatever is driving the anxiety. I use it when there's a song in my head looping to infinity and I can't sleep. The Problem is the brain is supposed to have a good deal of this "police force" of inhibition, shutting the party down. They're called GABA inhibitors and the medical findings say we have much less than our Non-Autistic peers. I have found that taking a nootropics supplement daily (with Lions Mane and Reishi) is one of the best long-term solutions. I've been taking them since 25, I'm better focused and they help with diet, as they target the same things as Anti-Anxiety medication, but aren't addictive. It's like eating mushrooms daily. So, salad

Would recommend, but as something to try in replacement. Not to take together. 

She's young. I wouldn't worry. 

One of the biggest problems we face is that we mature a LOT slower than our peers. I must have been 5-8 years behind mine emotionally at 17. Unfortunately, my mother thought I'd get it together if she kicked me out to fend for myself. I would strongly advise against this.

I'm nearly 50 and working on finally going to Uni but only because I never had support and had to work non-stop to try and stay alive! I'm not too bitter!  But I've achieved quite a good deal starting around 27 and am told I could start school at this point by working on a doctorate.  

There are reasons dating back to early psychoanalysis as to why we mature slower, and it mostly has to do with a difference in how we internally access and use Language. We miss a lot of social cues, but we also aren't easily hypnotised by the masses. 

It sounds to me like she needs real wisdom, guidance, rules for life. And I always suggest finding ADHD and Dyslexic friends who better understand us. Our ADHD friends might push us a little more than we would on our own, but they understand us. 

I'd afford her time regroup from school. Then look into local crafters and makers, something to spark her interest. She doesn't have to make a career, just find things she can be creative with. She needs to feel like she succeeds at things and allowed time to begin delve into a bit of philosophy or psychology which will help her have a better understanding of the social world. Next, help her build a work ethic with anything maybe a few times a week. 

One problem is often just a lack of exposure to what the world can offer and where she might fit into it. And once we have a vision for what we might be able to offer, we need practical advice, step-by-step as to how to reach that goal. 

Lastly, there is a great deal of medical research out there finding that Autistics and ADHD'rs have biological anxiety, which is made worse by society. Anti-Anxiety medication can help, but anti-depressants will make it MUCH worse due to these drugs being designed to target different things in the human body. However, Anti-Anxiety medication shouldn't be a long-term solution, but a back up for days when one needs clarity to Problem Solve whatever is driving the anxiety. I use it when there's a song in my head looping to infinity and I can't sleep. The Problem is the brain is supposed to have a good deal of this "police force" of inhibition, shutting the party down. They're called GABA inhibitors and the medical findings say we have much less than our Non-Autistic peers. I have found that taking a nootropics supplement daily (with Lions Mane and Reishi) is one of the best long-term solutions. I've been taking them since 25, I'm better focused and they help with diet, as they target the same things as Anti-Anxiety medication, but aren't addictive. It's like eating mushrooms daily. So, salad

Would recommend, but as something to try in replacement. Not to take together. 

thank you so much for this information and advice, I have found it really helpful. We have just been to the doctors to sign her off College for a couple of weeks and then we have half term. This will give her/us some time to think about what she needs. It will also give her a much needed rest from the constant anxiety she feels every day when trying to go to College but more times than not, finding she can't go in. Really interesting about the anti-anxiety medication, as she is on anti depressants at the moment, so you're right, they could be making it worse for her.