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Teenage son with Aspergers

KTB

Hi,

i really need some help please.... I have a 14 year old son who has Aspergers and ADHD. I am really struggling with appropriateness and behavior.

He doesn't go out at all, however i have recently found on his phone really in appropriate materials...He has also been talking to complete strangers, I believe posing to be young girls that are sending him images supposedly of themselves (clearly they aren't) and asking for photos in return. My son trusts everyone and can't see bad in anyone and has sent photos to these people (I'm mortified) he cannot see what he has done is wrong and doesn't have the understanding or language to understand the dangers involved. He started talking to girls from school a while ago but in a very abrupt way, talking to 3 or 4 girls at the same time in the same way, he got found out and was the laughing stock but couldn't see why... i removed all internet for a month but when I gave it back he was straight back on it again, having learnt nothing. I spoke to his Aspergers/ADHD consultant who tweeted his meds And said it was obsessive behavior now...

He has now raised the bar even further by sending photos of himself to complete strangers and I have no idea how to make him understand he can't do that and the dangers involved. I feel physically sick.

I have taken all internet access away from him and removed all his devices.

Was thinking I need to find an appropiate awareness course??

please any suggestions???

Thanks in advance.

A very worried mum!

Parents

  • Check the NAS website for information about the risks of getting into trouble with the police. It can be a bit of a maze, but you can get to the police related issues via either "Living with autism" - Out and About - or via "Working with autism"-criminal justice - Criminal Justice System and ASDs.

    There is also guidance on sex education via "about autism", or "living with autism" the section "Sex Education and children and young people with an ASD".

    I also checked another page from Tony Attwood's Complete Guide, which is worth getting hold of. On page 337 he talks about types of offences that could arise:-

    "For example, the person with Asperger's syndrome may not have had the usual social, sensual and sexual experiences of typical adolescents, and may develop sexually arousing fantasies involving objects, clothing, children and animals. The technical term is paraphilia."

    and - "A curiosity and confusion regarding sexuality can lead to the desire for more information and the development of solitary and clandestine special interest in pornography. There can be the assumption that the sexual behaviour seen on films and described in magazines is the script for a first date"

    It might be better if you got some "parental control" security software that enables you to prevent him accessing dating sites or porn from his computer, rather than taking away his access to the internet.

    Computers can be a salvation for many people with aspergers. I don't think denying him access to networks is a good idea, just ensuring he doesn't reach inappropriate ones.

    I'm sure lots of people on here could tell you how difficult it is growing up with a sexual identity and limited means of getting reference points from peers, but also people may be understandably reluctant to open up about these things.

    Also NAS moderators should have an input here....

Reply

  • Check the NAS website for information about the risks of getting into trouble with the police. It can be a bit of a maze, but you can get to the police related issues via either "Living with autism" - Out and About - or via "Working with autism"-criminal justice - Criminal Justice System and ASDs.

    There is also guidance on sex education via "about autism", or "living with autism" the section "Sex Education and children and young people with an ASD".

    I also checked another page from Tony Attwood's Complete Guide, which is worth getting hold of. On page 337 he talks about types of offences that could arise:-

    "For example, the person with Asperger's syndrome may not have had the usual social, sensual and sexual experiences of typical adolescents, and may develop sexually arousing fantasies involving objects, clothing, children and animals. The technical term is paraphilia."

    and - "A curiosity and confusion regarding sexuality can lead to the desire for more information and the development of solitary and clandestine special interest in pornography. There can be the assumption that the sexual behaviour seen on films and described in magazines is the script for a first date"

    It might be better if you got some "parental control" security software that enables you to prevent him accessing dating sites or porn from his computer, rather than taking away his access to the internet.

    Computers can be a salvation for many people with aspergers. I don't think denying him access to networks is a good idea, just ensuring he doesn't reach inappropriate ones.

    I'm sure lots of people on here could tell you how difficult it is growing up with a sexual identity and limited means of getting reference points from peers, but also people may be understandably reluctant to open up about these things.

    Also NAS moderators should have an input here....

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