My son was diagnosed in Aug 22 with high functioning ASD and struggles with all things social: situations, making friends, reading cues, understanding meaning etc. All meltdowns he has are at school. They started off in PE lessons and over time have led to break time, lunch time and more recently in class.
As a family we have worked hard on his coping strategies and more recently he has been able to self regulate and deal with minor situations that may occur whereas before every situation would lead to a meltdown.
Most recently the minor situations are turning to major because 'other kids' are getting involved and it is pushing him over the edge, resulting in him lashing out. Sometimes this is at the other kids, other times (and most often) it is at objects. Fly-kicking doors open, kicking over bins, flipping tables, throwing chairs and even removing his shoes and throwing them.
To put into perspective, he has no-one at school he can call a friend. The kids don't like him, understand him or have the patience to deal with him which is leading to them getting involved in these situations, as they know it will wind him up and he will react.
An example: In the school playground child 1 tripped over my sons foot leading to a bit of a stumble. My son apologised, the child 1 said, it's ok it was just an accident. A child 2 comes over and challenges my son as to why he deliberately tripped child 1 up, my son responds with "it was an accident" and child 2 says "no it wasn't, I saw it and you tripped him". Knowing it's a lie and feeling overwhelmed by someone verbally challenging him with false information, my son pushed child 2. Child 2 then punches my son. Child 3 comes over and also punches my son, leading to my son punching child 3 back. My son is then led away to a class room where he wrecks the room by throwing chairs and tables etc.
I am unsure how I:
- deal with the situation when i receive a call from the school. do I bring him home of let him stay? I have been keeping him at school because when he has calmed down, he migrates into class no problem as if nothing has happened.
- respond to these situations when chatting them over with my son - as I have the understanding that during meltdowns there is a huge element of the need to relieve the pressure and possible an element of not realising what actions you are making or being able to control those actions
- understand if it is an autism meltdown or a fit of rage
- move forward - do we need to go back to our GP for more help (we were diagnosed and discharged, so no further help or support) the progress he has made has been done as a family through research
I have also noticed him scratching himself a lot to the point where his arms, chest and back are scarlet red with white lumps where he has been clawing.
I have probably missed out so much information as I've just received a phone call regarding an incident but this is a generic overview.
He attends swimming, chess club and scouts and never has any meltdowns in any of these settings or at home. Only ever at school.
Any advice given would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
