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School refusal and difficulty settling into routine

NAS75657

My Son is seven. We had the Christmas holidays when things were a little different, going to different places, meals being later. My Son was going to late/ very late and getting up early/very early, despite going to bed at his usual time. Just before he went back to school he wasn’t well but then seemed better so he went back to school for a day but was unwell for a few days so was off school. Now we he’s well again but we can’t get him to school and he still wants to go on outings but we only go to do certain places during term time weekends. If we say we will go to the places we go to in the holidays when it’s the holidays he gets upset and cross. If we tell him

we are doing the usual routine he gets cross and upset Any advice?? School have said there are no issues there, he’s very happy and doing well. 

Parents

  • He might not quite understand the holdiays are over. 

    A calendar with blocks of colours can help. Young children have trouble understanding chronology. Autistic and ADHD'rs don't sense-percieve time as linear but the moment is an eternity - this is much more a Right brain function. So, a physical object like an analogue clock (where we watch the second hand) and printed material to refer to are much more helpful to help stabilise expectations. 

    Apologies if i'm mistaking what you're communicating, I'm having a little trouble following. But I wonder if he's incorporated a new system or way of experiencing life into his expectations during the holidays, possibly forgetting how he was affected by the transition back from the holidays felt last year. But last year he would've been in a different class. Anyway, we are often simply stuck in the present, while our peers might have difficult being present. We have difficulty planning for the future.  

    Another thing is to allow him to be upset. Experiencing and making room for emotions is OK. As we grow, we need to practice affirming our emotions and not acting out in ways which have severe consequences (perhaps going for a jog or walk). Autistics can feel and sense-percieve everything with a greater intensity than our peers and sometimes just having someone walk through these impacts with us, can be helpful. Parent and child screaming into a pillow together, for instance. Relate with and empathise with his extreme frustration.  Sometimes the transitions take weeks to adjust to (sometimes years if we had planned on a different future). 

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    I have contacted his teacher and she’s going to send home some picture cards with our Son to use as Now and Next 

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