teenage daughter with aspergers

Hi 

Intense world has said some good things.  

From your last post I think their is 2 main things: school and the running away thing. 

So, you say she is at a school that has a autism base-so does that mean that they understand autism, and help her? I notice a lot that people don't have a clue what ASD is, and such a simple thing I did of writing a information sheet about it and then specific things for me has been amazing help.   Sorry, I am getting of point, basically waht I mean to say is is the school being helpful, or is they anything they could do that would help more?  if they could can you ask them? 
How is she with after this argument with pals and now no-one in her peer group.  Maybe this is just me but I can not compelty understand how this is a problem.  I know I have never had friends, pals anything and am perfectly happy in my own company all the time if I could be. Maybe not everyone is the same. So, what is she struggling with, the change in people around her or does she acually miss and want people? 

Also for school is their lessons or days that she finds harder than others? like 1 lesson all the people she fell out with are in etc.. Could it be a idea to work out her 'good' and 'bad' lessons then see if you can work with the school to just have her go to the good ones and arrange somewhere else she can go when she should have  a bad lesson.  (like in the autism base you mention)  I know that whould not be ideal but I have done that and had a reduced timetable quite a few times and it really does help. And surly being in school and being in some but not all lessons is better than being at home all the time?  Just make sure you take it at her pace, if it has to be just in school for a morning and go to 1 lesson start it as that, and go gradually.  Make sure she agrees with it too and is happy to do what you are sugesting and that I think should make her bad behavour less-even better if she gets to choose things too (like which lessons she would like to go to first) so she feels more listend to, involved and able to make chosise for herself.  I know because I have had a lot of times I did not get these things and it is realy hard to deal with it because I can not tell people what I feel about things, yes my bahavior in home and school got worse and no one ever knew why. 

For the home/runing away thing I do not think I can be much help.  Intense world said some really good things about this -like make a 'me space' that has her faveret things and she can go any time to calm down (I have one of these, I love it!) and the next bit about if she can talk to you-as in can she make herelf listend to. I know I said I have expersineces of problems at home but i do not think they are the same as you. To me  it sounds like when she is run away to diferent people that she is deffinatly chosing what she wants and getting it. I never got that.   But like I said for school I think the 3 most important things can be for this too: she is listend to, happy to do what is agreed and able to make choses for herself. ( i know that is not the same as what i put before but that is the sumary and the 3 main things)   When I say listend to I mean including the things she may not say. I had problems with this that I do not say things unless asked about it. (I got told off for talking about my obsessions a lot so it now made me not really speak unless I have to)  I do not know here-she may have better communicaton than me but you should look for the the hidden things, which could be as simple as being sat in the 'wrong' place in the room, or she would prefer the kitchen to living room that would make it easier for her. Hopefully this all makes sense. 

I hope it helps.  If you would like to know anything more then you can ask some more questions. If you could be as specific as possible on what you would like to know about then that would help me to do my answere :) 
Amy 

Hi 

Intense world has said some good things.  

From your last post I think their is 2 main things: school and the running away thing. 

So, you say she is at a school that has a autism base-so does that mean that they understand autism, and help her? I notice a lot that people don't have a clue what ASD is, and such a simple thing I did of writing a information sheet about it and then specific things for me has been amazing help.   Sorry, I am getting of point, basically waht I mean to say is is the school being helpful, or is they anything they could do that would help more?  if they could can you ask them? 
How is she with after this argument with pals and now no-one in her peer group.  Maybe this is just me but I can not compelty understand how this is a problem.  I know I have never had friends, pals anything and am perfectly happy in my own company all the time if I could be. Maybe not everyone is the same. So, what is she struggling with, the change in people around her or does she acually miss and want people? 

Also for school is their lessons or days that she finds harder than others? like 1 lesson all the people she fell out with are in etc.. Could it be a idea to work out her 'good' and 'bad' lessons then see if you can work with the school to just have her go to the good ones and arrange somewhere else she can go when she should have  a bad lesson.  (like in the autism base you mention)  I know that whould not be ideal but I have done that and had a reduced timetable quite a few times and it really does help. And surly being in school and being in some but not all lessons is better than being at home all the time?  Just make sure you take it at her pace, if it has to be just in school for a morning and go to 1 lesson start it as that, and go gradually.  Make sure she agrees with it too and is happy to do what you are sugesting and that I think should make her bad behavour less-even better if she gets to choose things too (like which lessons she would like to go to first) so she feels more listend to, involved and able to make chosise for herself.  I know because I have had a lot of times I did not get these things and it is realy hard to deal with it because I can not tell people what I feel about things, yes my bahavior in home and school got worse and no one ever knew why. 

For the home/runing away thing I do not think I can be much help.  Intense world said some really good things about this -like make a 'me space' that has her faveret things and she can go any time to calm down (I have one of these, I love it!) and the next bit about if she can talk to you-as in can she make herelf listend to. I know I said I have expersineces of problems at home but i do not think they are the same as you. To me  it sounds like when she is run away to diferent people that she is deffinatly chosing what she wants and getting it. I never got that.   But like I said for school I think the 3 most important things can be for this too: she is listend to, happy to do what is agreed and able to make choses for herself. ( i know that is not the same as what i put before but that is the sumary and the 3 main things)   When I say listend to I mean including the things she may not say. I had problems with this that I do not say things unless asked about it. (I got told off for talking about my obsessions a lot so it now made me not really speak unless I have to)  I do not know here-she may have better communicaton than me but you should look for the the hidden things, which could be as simple as being sat in the 'wrong' place in the room, or she would prefer the kitchen to living room that would make it easier for her. Hopefully this all makes sense. 

I hope it helps.  If you would like to know anything more then you can ask some more questions. If you could be as specific as possible on what you would like to know about then that would help me to do my answere :) 
Amy