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Daughter 17, getting a bit desperate.

NAS90881

She was diagnosed very late at 16. Crashed out of A levels 5 months later. She sees an NHS psychologist frequently. She’s in burnout.

After 8 months of fighting we’ve got an EHCP. She’s refusing to engage with any of it. Won’t discuss it. Won’t discuss anything, she never has, it’s always been a struggle. She just wants to stay in her room or hang out with her parents. She has no friends. Doesn’t do social media. We’ve tried fluoxetine but it made her exhausted. Melatonin did nothing either. We can’t afford to pay privately anymore, and please don’t suggest  CAMHS. It’s an 18 month wait list, and they were useless anyway.

She wants to go to university. I don’t know how she’ll integrate. She wants to do A levels at home, but we want her to go to a HF ASD school. She’s refusing to look round or talk about it.

Shes becoming more and more withdrawn and bad tempered. Her sleep is rubbish. She sleeps from about 3am until 2pm. Any attempts to change this are met with refusal.

Just lately l feel so angry I’m struggling to speak to her. She was a friendly chatty child. I know this was masking, but she’s fallen so far l feel so lost, bewildered and depressed, we’ve got a the help but she just won’t engage.

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  • Chams useless been there done that..they just pressured me into putting my kid on meds which I wouldn't do..that's all they had to offer was to put him on drugs and sadly not all drugs work for autism..they may treat by products of it but not the actual autism ovs. Please may I say without you taking this the wrong way BUT your daughters sleep patterns  is her circadian rhythm which in autism can be not correct..I know as my son same he will be awake fr 2 day or 3 day straight and then sleep for three days etc it's mostly all over the place he has some.moments if normality ie a 9 to 5 pattern. Also the sleep thing may be a symptom of another mental health ie bi polar. Please be aware that it's very common for mental health problems to be dual in that there will be two things ie as I said bi polar and autism or ocd and autism etc..not trying to worry you but that you should be aware to see if there is anything else on top of the autism. So she's not being naughty I think she may be sleeping oddly due to the autism or some other thing..also note sometimes  people with autism don't speak because it can be to do with the anxiety where it actually physically effects the physical mechanisms in order to speak.Also note that often people with autism are not able to know or understand there own feelings as readily as nuro typical ie you may have a conversation with her she might not respond as she doesn't know there and then how she feels..plus be aware my son when diagnosed at 18 took 5 yrs before he would even mention the word autism he was in denial and I couldn't even discuss it when he did talk five yrs later he told me it depressed him so much he wanted to top himself... all in all I'm not trying to scare you but just make you aware that your daughter is in there and when at times she seems like she being rude or sullen etc she's not but what she is doing is struggling..all you can do is be patient and you must suck it up when you feel hurt for example if you feel she's been rude to you etc as you can bet she is feeling way worse than you. It's very difficult I know as we are not prepared as parents we are not given an instruction manual on autism and its very complex and we have to educate ourselves all the Time in order to understand  and help them better. One thing I will say is if you cant communicate with her it would be a good idea to get a professional private one not rubbish NHS or chams. Plus did you know statistical fact that girls/weomen have a harder time than men in being autistic and suffer more with depression because of it just be aware of that..sorry I didn't sugar coat it but if I did how would that of helped you.

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  • Chams useless been there done that..they just pressured me into putting my kid on meds which I wouldn't do..that's all they had to offer was to put him on drugs and sadly not all drugs work for autism..they may treat by products of it but not the actual autism ovs. Please may I say without you taking this the wrong way BUT your daughters sleep patterns  is her circadian rhythm which in autism can be not correct..I know as my son same he will be awake fr 2 day or 3 day straight and then sleep for three days etc it's mostly all over the place he has some.moments if normality ie a 9 to 5 pattern. Also the sleep thing may be a symptom of another mental health ie bi polar. Please be aware that it's very common for mental health problems to be dual in that there will be two things ie as I said bi polar and autism or ocd and autism etc..not trying to worry you but that you should be aware to see if there is anything else on top of the autism. So she's not being naughty I think she may be sleeping oddly due to the autism or some other thing..also note sometimes  people with autism don't speak because it can be to do with the anxiety where it actually physically effects the physical mechanisms in order to speak.Also note that often people with autism are not able to know or understand there own feelings as readily as nuro typical ie you may have a conversation with her she might not respond as she doesn't know there and then how she feels..plus be aware my son when diagnosed at 18 took 5 yrs before he would even mention the word autism he was in denial and I couldn't even discuss it when he did talk five yrs later he told me it depressed him so much he wanted to top himself... all in all I'm not trying to scare you but just make you aware that your daughter is in there and when at times she seems like she being rude or sullen etc she's not but what she is doing is struggling..all you can do is be patient and you must suck it up when you feel hurt for example if you feel she's been rude to you etc as you can bet she is feeling way worse than you. It's very difficult I know as we are not prepared as parents we are not given an instruction manual on autism and its very complex and we have to educate ourselves all the Time in order to understand  and help them better. One thing I will say is if you cant communicate with her it would be a good idea to get a professional private one not rubbish NHS or chams. Plus did you know statistical fact that girls/weomen have a harder time than men in being autistic and suffer more with depression because of it just be aware of that..sorry I didn't sugar coat it but if I did how would that of helped you.

Children
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