• Replies 12 replies
  • Subscribers 75 subscribers
  • Views 2012 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Daughter 17, getting a bit desperate.

NAS90881

She was diagnosed very late at 16. Crashed out of A levels 5 months later. She sees an NHS psychologist frequently. She’s in burnout.

After 8 months of fighting we’ve got an EHCP. She’s refusing to engage with any of it. Won’t discuss it. Won’t discuss anything, she never has, it’s always been a struggle. She just wants to stay in her room or hang out with her parents. She has no friends. Doesn’t do social media. We’ve tried fluoxetine but it made her exhausted. Melatonin did nothing either. We can’t afford to pay privately anymore, and please don’t suggest  CAMHS. It’s an 18 month wait list, and they were useless anyway.

She wants to go to university. I don’t know how she’ll integrate. She wants to do A levels at home, but we want her to go to a HF ASD school. She’s refusing to look round or talk about it.

Shes becoming more and more withdrawn and bad tempered. Her sleep is rubbish. She sleeps from about 3am until 2pm. Any attempts to change this are met with refusal.

Just lately l feel so angry I’m struggling to speak to her. She was a friendly chatty child. I know this was masking, but she’s fallen so far l feel so lost, bewildered and depressed, we’ve got a the help but she just won’t engage.

Parents

  • I get it. It must feel awful to her. She fails academicly, you blaim the autism (or at least thats how it seems to her) and she looses any sence of controle of her life because of the word autism. And now you want to use that word to send her away. To tell her she can't cope with uni. You won't get any cooperation from her unless you can restore some sence of her having some controle over her own life.

    She probably spent 5 months tring to fight through a levels now she has to fight you too. Untill you figure out why yur daughter failed her a levels you can't help her. Just slaping the word 'autism' onto it isn't enough. You need to understand how all the moving parts fit together and worked together to frustrate her attempts to learn. Because she clearly wants to learn. And I don't think passing the problem onto a special school to solve is at all gurenteed to work. And even if it does it may have other detramental effects on her.

    Your daughter wants to do a levels, wants university. thats half the battel but you need to find creative ways to suport her reaching for that. You want my advice, stop fighting your daughter start fighting for the adjustments she will need to do her a levels and get through uni. But first you need to figgure out what those adjustments are.

Reply

  • I get it. It must feel awful to her. She fails academicly, you blaim the autism (or at least thats how it seems to her) and she looses any sence of controle of her life because of the word autism. And now you want to use that word to send her away. To tell her she can't cope with uni. You won't get any cooperation from her unless you can restore some sence of her having some controle over her own life.

    She probably spent 5 months tring to fight through a levels now she has to fight you too. Untill you figure out why yur daughter failed her a levels you can't help her. Just slaping the word 'autism' onto it isn't enough. You need to understand how all the moving parts fit together and worked together to frustrate her attempts to learn. Because she clearly wants to learn. And I don't think passing the problem onto a special school to solve is at all gurenteed to work. And even if it does it may have other detramental effects on her.

    Your daughter wants to do a levels, wants university. thats half the battel but you need to find creative ways to suport her reaching for that. You want my advice, stop fighting your daughter start fighting for the adjustments she will need to do her a levels and get through uni. But first you need to figgure out what those adjustments are.

Children
No Data