Daughter 17, getting a bit desperate.

She was diagnosed very late at 16. Crashed out of A levels 5 months later. She sees an NHS psychologist frequently. She’s in burnout.

After 8 months of fighting we’ve got an EHCP. She’s refusing to engage with any of it. Won’t discuss it. Won’t discuss anything, she never has, it’s always been a struggle. She just wants to stay in her room or hang out with her parents. She has no friends. Doesn’t do social media. We’ve tried fluoxetine but it made her exhausted. Melatonin did nothing either. We can’t afford to pay privately anymore, and please don’t suggest  CAMHS. It’s an 18 month wait list, and they were useless anyway.

She wants to go to university. I don’t know how she’ll integrate. She wants to do A levels at home, but we want her to go to a HF ASD school. She’s refusing to look round or talk about it.

Shes becoming more and more withdrawn and bad tempered. Her sleep is rubbish. She sleeps from about 3am until 2pm. Any attempts to change this are met with refusal.

Just lately l feel so angry I’m struggling to speak to her. She was a friendly chatty child. I know this was masking, but she’s fallen so far l feel so lost, bewildered and depressed, we’ve got a the help but she just won’t engage.

Parents
  • She’s in burnout.

    This is the most important thing currently. Every interaction will be exhausting for her. Every demand will be overload for her. Every attempt to change her routine will be overwhelming for her. 

    Recovery from burnout takes time and the pace needs to be driven by the person in burnout, not by those around them. Once the person is ready to start doing things again it has to be in a sustainable way that will not overload them and send them right back into burnout again.

    Considering that she is in burnout I think that her wish to do A-Levels at home sounds like a good plan. It will be a good focus for her while she is in recovery. It is good that she aims to go to university as that will be a powerful motivating factor.

    These articles contain some tips on recovery from burnout.

    https://www.barrierstoeducation.co.uk/burnout

    https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/autistic-burnout-recovery

    As much as you want to help her I would urge you to allow her the space and time she needs to process her diagnosis and recover from burnout. When a person is recovering from burnout it is so important to keep the pressure off and reduce demands as far as possible.

Reply
  • She’s in burnout.

    This is the most important thing currently. Every interaction will be exhausting for her. Every demand will be overload for her. Every attempt to change her routine will be overwhelming for her. 

    Recovery from burnout takes time and the pace needs to be driven by the person in burnout, not by those around them. Once the person is ready to start doing things again it has to be in a sustainable way that will not overload them and send them right back into burnout again.

    Considering that she is in burnout I think that her wish to do A-Levels at home sounds like a good plan. It will be a good focus for her while she is in recovery. It is good that she aims to go to university as that will be a powerful motivating factor.

    These articles contain some tips on recovery from burnout.

    https://www.barrierstoeducation.co.uk/burnout

    https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/autistic-burnout-recovery

    As much as you want to help her I would urge you to allow her the space and time she needs to process her diagnosis and recover from burnout. When a person is recovering from burnout it is so important to keep the pressure off and reduce demands as far as possible.

Children
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