special or mainstream school for HF

Hi,

My 10 yr son has HF ASD. Academically very bright but other developmental domains are far too behind. He has not yet finished toileting training (he needs a nappy for his poo), still needs 2 adults to get him ready e.g. changing, brushing teeth etc. He can speak but not much verbal communication going on with his peers (he can response but not initiates conversation ). His severe anxiety is causing trouble all aspect of his life.

He is now in Year 6. Naturally I need to think about his secondary school. The LA told me he is too clever to go to a special school However, I am really concern that he may not be able to cope with a mainstream secondary school, due to his extremely poor social/communication skills and severe anxiety.

 If he goes to a special school, I am sure it will make his school life much easier but there would be a huge compromise academically. But on the other hand, if he goes to a mainstream, his academic well-being will be fulfilled but emotional well-being will be significantly undermined.    

 Wonder if any of you have similar situation with me? Or any of you, who have HF/Asperger, had the similar experience? Which school do you recommend according to your experience?

 Thank you so much for your reading my message and I really appreciate any advice that you could kindly give me. 

  • Had another bad day ! Our 10 year old son who has autism refused to go to school again.

    We tried reasoning, positive encouragement and blackmail. When these didn't work we took his tv out of his room. We ended up having to restrain him as he lashed out in anger. I phoned the school and informed them our son was adamant he wasn't coming in and they sent out the Welfare Officer and mentioned social services.

    As parents my husband and I feel angry and unsupported. This is the second mainstream school that has excluded our son for aggressive behaviour. We have battled with our son previously to take him in and he has been sent home for lashing out at staff and pupils. We understand the need to safeguard other children and staff but I thought the statement was in place to support individual needs?

    The head refused our application for a placement at this school but her decision was overturned. I feel she has already written our son off as a naughty child . This was confirmed when she asked us if we had considered special school.

  • We are still going through the statementing process, I have named a special needs school on the forms. I am not sure my daughter would totally fit in but I know that its the sort of environment she could be comfortable in to actually go to school and access her education, very small classrooms, quiet and relaxed. I took her to look round and she said, 'I could go here mum, I like the smell and the climbing equipment'. (she always comments on the smell of places! very embarrassing at times!Smile

    But its not a perfect solution and Im yet to discover if she will be accepted or get on if she gets in. There is such a huge gap in provision for HF ASD children. Our children are being let down by the education authority at the moment. My daughter just about kept her head above water in primary school and was drowning at high school.

    Sorry I can't be of more help, Just thought it would be good to know you're not aloneSmile

  • hi, thank ou for your post.yes, I can view your previous posts.Yes, I really agree why there is no somewhere between mainstream schools and specisl schools?? I am sure many of parents whose child is HF have the same experience. 

    I visited some of special schools in my area but I don't think he would "fit" in any of special scools. 

    Are you still doing home-schooling? or have you found new school for your child? 

  • Are you able to view my previous postings? I have HF ASD 11 year old in year 7. If you can't let me know, I really relate to your situation.