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Teacher comment

NAS90568

Hi there

I’m new here and I have 2 autistic children and myself have been diagnosed last year with Asd and adhd. Neurodivergence is new to us but I’ve learned a lot through a lot of research. 

My son is 12 and has just started secondary school  he’s had ups and downs but generally settling ok  he’s extremely shy and sensitive  he has a sen passport for school  it’s a reasonably small school with 5 classes per year  

today during games he was wearing his coat  a teacher he didn’t know asked him why he was wearing his coat  he took this literally (and is also terrified of speaking to teachers or in public)  he also has taken to wearing his coat a lot since leaving primary school  

he replied ‘because I’m cold’. The teacher responded with ‘I think what you mean to say was I’m sorry sir and I will take it off straight away’. My son was mortified and upset  separately another boy then ran yo behind him and smacked him over the head and said ‘it’s just bants’.

hes at a selective grammar school and they can be quite strict on uniform but my boy wouldn’t have really understood that a coat means he’s breaking the PE uniform code  seriously?! I’m not sure why a teacher would need to call attention to it in such a sarcastic way  it makes me cross because it’s an old fashioned response designed to belittle or shame  

I don’t know whether to raise it or not  I don’t want to single him out and I know I would’ve had worse in my school days but surely we should be trying to move things forward  I’m feel my disappointed with it  as I say, just seems unnecessary and may contribute to others thinking he’s an easy target  

would be grateful for any help  the Sen team seem good but I’ve no idea of the personality of the other teacher. I suspect this guy might be old school and pettty  it could blow up  but I don’t want my son to feel he has to just lump it either  

thank you for reading. It’s such a struggle to parent when autistic yourself too  just never sure I’m reading things right  but then I relate to how awful it feels in these sorts of situations  

Parents

  • I think you should try saying something to the teacher first and then if you think that you haven't got through, escalate it. Times have changed and teachers need to be reminded or helped to understand.  I am afraid PE seems to be an area where teachers often have no regard to neuro-divergence. My son had a PE teacher who used to get annoyed with him for "not trying", when actually my son has very little co-ordination and often does not know where to start with anything sporty.  Another issue was coats.  Not in PE but when lining up in primary school.  He could not wear a coat or hoodie without doing the zip up and putting up the hood: he wore the coat completely or not at all.  The school imposed a weird rule that they were not allowed to have their hoods up in the class queues in the playground, even in bitingly cold weather.  My son would never put his hood down, so he got a lunchtime detention - yes, detention from play in primary school - for not following the rule.  I was in two minds whether to mention these two things to the school, but I did in the end because although they have lots of children to deal with, I felt my son was coming home sad and confused on those days and was being put off sport just because he wasn't good at it (or rather did not know where to start because his brain does not work in that way).  If some of what you speak to them about sticks, then that is a good thing, I think.

Reply

  • I think you should try saying something to the teacher first and then if you think that you haven't got through, escalate it. Times have changed and teachers need to be reminded or helped to understand.  I am afraid PE seems to be an area where teachers often have no regard to neuro-divergence. My son had a PE teacher who used to get annoyed with him for "not trying", when actually my son has very little co-ordination and often does not know where to start with anything sporty.  Another issue was coats.  Not in PE but when lining up in primary school.  He could not wear a coat or hoodie without doing the zip up and putting up the hood: he wore the coat completely or not at all.  The school imposed a weird rule that they were not allowed to have their hoods up in the class queues in the playground, even in bitingly cold weather.  My son would never put his hood down, so he got a lunchtime detention - yes, detention from play in primary school - for not following the rule.  I was in two minds whether to mention these two things to the school, but I did in the end because although they have lots of children to deal with, I felt my son was coming home sad and confused on those days and was being put off sport just because he wasn't good at it (or rather did not know where to start because his brain does not work in that way).  If some of what you speak to them about sticks, then that is a good thing, I think.

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