My son assaulted another child

I don't know wherw to apart with this one. My 12 yo is in his 1st year of mainstream high school. His primary years were horrific with bullying, him retaliating and being excluded from school. Last week, a boy he has previously had issues with resurfaced himself, flooding him about being in his face. My son gave him plenty of warnings to leave him alone, to not get in his face but the boy didn't take any notice at all. On Wednesday my son was sent home from school for threatening to "have" him if he comes near him again. I was told the boy was "scared for him life". The boy was told to stay away from my son and my son was told the same and he made a promise not to attack(the schools words) him) my boy agreed. The following day when my son returned to school the said boy was in his face, following him about and my son told him in a few choice word to do one. Friday arrives and my son is still as high as a kite because this boy after being told to leave him alone has kept doing it. I tried ro bring him down which I managed, well I thought I did. Then the call came to say my son was being excluded as he gave this boy a "beating". Of course its all my son. The school have said they have been told no one seen this boy approach my son it was all one sided. This has always been the way my son has went through school, O this O that is to blame because of his actions.  My son has a dual diagnosis of asd and adhd. I have to attend the school this week and I'm at a loss of what to say or do.

Parents
  • i dunno it maybe a blessing in disguise to be excluded from that school right?

    i mean for one he finally gets seperated from another kid he has issues with so that ends now. and another if the school is wrong then hes good to be getting away from them too as you dont wanna remain in a school that fails to protect you then takes the side of the person that starts it. so it maybe for the best. you can find a better school for him.

  • How difficult it is it for a parent to get a child back into school if they have been excluded from another one? and why should the child be made to feel that it's his fault? I have been at fault for everything in my life and I cannot bear the thought of a child being blamed for their health condition. 

    I'm not saying this school is the right place for him but I am saying that if it's made into being his fault that he has been excluded it's going to be a much more difficult path for him and the parents. Plus a child needs their parents to stand up for them, otherwise they will feel unloved at school and at home. 

  • yeah i always got blamed and faulted for everything, despite the fact i always wanted to stick to rules and was stressed at ever getting into trouble so wanted to avoid being told off, despite that i always got dragged to get told off for ***. which eventually just made me stop trying and be rebelistic and skip school. if you try to follow rules then still get punished then you see the rules mean nothing and you then ignore and hate the rules as you abided by them and still got dunked on.

    thing is though in that case if a school is like that then its best to remove the child from that school anyway. because its bringing the child up wrong, its instilling a rebel attitude and a hatred for rules when they do that. which you dont want raised into your child. therefore for the betterment of a childs raising its best to avoid schools that punish unfairly and raise your kid to hate rules and their enforcers. rules have to be fair, and fairly enforced. when they are unfairly enforced then that causes alot of problems.

    although i suppose the steps then are to challenge the expulsion. to ask for proof of their child attacking the other child. if they have no proof, no witnesses, no camera... then they cant prove it cant they? therefore they cant expell the kid as it isnt provable... so this parent needs to ask for proof. solid evidence, if there is none challenge that and say its hear say, its lies, you cant prove it and so on and therefore its unfair to do this off no evidence. also witness would have to have seen the start of the confrontation. a witness that only saw it mid, fight is not good enough. they need evidence of the start of it.

    if there is evidence then you can judge whether its fair or not... 

Reply
  • yeah i always got blamed and faulted for everything, despite the fact i always wanted to stick to rules and was stressed at ever getting into trouble so wanted to avoid being told off, despite that i always got dragged to get told off for ***. which eventually just made me stop trying and be rebelistic and skip school. if you try to follow rules then still get punished then you see the rules mean nothing and you then ignore and hate the rules as you abided by them and still got dunked on.

    thing is though in that case if a school is like that then its best to remove the child from that school anyway. because its bringing the child up wrong, its instilling a rebel attitude and a hatred for rules when they do that. which you dont want raised into your child. therefore for the betterment of a childs raising its best to avoid schools that punish unfairly and raise your kid to hate rules and their enforcers. rules have to be fair, and fairly enforced. when they are unfairly enforced then that causes alot of problems.

    although i suppose the steps then are to challenge the expulsion. to ask for proof of their child attacking the other child. if they have no proof, no witnesses, no camera... then they cant prove it cant they? therefore they cant expell the kid as it isnt provable... so this parent needs to ask for proof. solid evidence, if there is none challenge that and say its hear say, its lies, you cant prove it and so on and therefore its unfair to do this off no evidence. also witness would have to have seen the start of the confrontation. a witness that only saw it mid, fight is not good enough. they need evidence of the start of it.

    if there is evidence then you can judge whether its fair or not... 

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