How to suggest a diagnosis is needed

I was in your sister's position and didn't realise myself how much mum did for me until she wasn't there anymore. I think it took me 2 years to realise just how badly I cope alone. 

I have been brutally honest with DWP, I really do have daily violent meltdowns and always have -i hid in toilets so no-one would find out from senior school age and in cupboards at home from about 6. I have been put in the support group but I also had dismissal letters from work which backed up my claim and occupational health letters stating my unfitness and, frankly, levels of incompetence. 

However, no matter how much money you get as income if you can't manage it you can't manage it. I had a well paid job and still got into debt because I'm rubbish at money. I actually do better when I know I've got nothing spare, because then I know I can't spend anything but that comes from a highly negative view of "I don't have any money so I don't deserve anything" - I can turn anything into a negative. It's a special talent (!) 

As far as suggesting it to your sister, does she have any awareness of autism? Has it ever been suggested before? Prior conceptions about the condition can make it difficult for people to even consider they might be autistic. If she knows nothing about it beyond "rain man" then have a look at the BBC "inside our autistic minds" and see if that's something you might watch together or recommend she watch. 

I've suggested to my sister her kids need assessing and that blew up in my face badly, despite her agreeing one is PDA. Assessing as a child has possible benefits in terms of support, as an adult there is little to no support available, employers can be reluctant to provide accommodations, so realistically diagnosis won't get your sister the support you think she needs. 

It's a tough one. I'd been told I was autistic by a random therapist in my early 20's but I was so scared of the term that I ignored it, he didn't record it, and it wasn't until I was 40 and mum had her strokes that I couldn't avoid it anymore and pushed for assessment. 

I was in your sister's position and didn't realise myself how much mum did for me until she wasn't there anymore. I think it took me 2 years to realise just how badly I cope alone. 

I have been brutally honest with DWP, I really do have daily violent meltdowns and always have -i hid in toilets so no-one would find out from senior school age and in cupboards at home from about 6. I have been put in the support group but I also had dismissal letters from work which backed up my claim and occupational health letters stating my unfitness and, frankly, levels of incompetence. 

However, no matter how much money you get as income if you can't manage it you can't manage it. I had a well paid job and still got into debt because I'm rubbish at money. I actually do better when I know I've got nothing spare, because then I know I can't spend anything but that comes from a highly negative view of "I don't have any money so I don't deserve anything" - I can turn anything into a negative. It's a special talent (!) 

As far as suggesting it to your sister, does she have any awareness of autism? Has it ever been suggested before? Prior conceptions about the condition can make it difficult for people to even consider they might be autistic. If she knows nothing about it beyond "rain man" then have a look at the BBC "inside our autistic minds" and see if that's something you might watch together or recommend she watch. 

I've suggested to my sister her kids need assessing and that blew up in my face badly, despite her agreeing one is PDA. Assessing as a child has possible benefits in terms of support, as an adult there is little to no support available, employers can be reluctant to provide accommodations, so realistically diagnosis won't get your sister the support you think she needs. 

It's a tough one. I'd been told I was autistic by a random therapist in my early 20's but I was so scared of the term that I ignored it, he didn't record it, and it wasn't until I was 40 and mum had her strokes that I couldn't avoid it anymore and pushed for assessment.