She wants out

My daughter has come up to me and said she wants out of school. I never thought I'd here her say that. She is in an autism specialist independent school, staffed 2:1. She struggles so much on a daily basis, something going wrong everyday. She is serious about leaving now because she has realised her mental health is not good when she goes and that staff no longer help or understand her. 

She is really scared that if she does leave, the huge change in routine will tip her over the edge, and she will end up doing something stupid. She said this is why she doesn't want to leave school. She also doesn't know what to do because if she leaves, her mental health will be really bad and she won't want to work or help me work or whatnot because she just won't cope. Also having a traumatising time at her last job, it has put her off altogether. I'm worried about how she will cope with her mental health. 

In the meantime she is due back to school next Monday. Her friend has said she will go with her to school on Monday. On Wednesday we have a meeting with the school but we don't know what about. She also said that in school she has pretended to be me, writing letters on what will help her and things like that. I think she prefers to do this way of communication, pretending to be someone else, than saying herself. 

What can help her because we are at a lost? Any ideas we are grateful for. I feel like it's a race against time now. 

Parents
  • She left school early today, after lunch, after school had my permission. She has been in tears this evening and said she didn't want to go back until Thursday, which is the day her friend said she will join her. But now she has calmed down, she wants to go in tomorrow and give it another go. She forgives and forgets so easily. I don't know what happened today, if it was school related or if she just wanted to see her friend. Staff said she was refusing work and wanted to go home. 

    I understand one of the problems is she must feel really lonely all day. She gets the bus at 8, all by herself. Waits for school to open, all by herself. Deals with school and the issues around that, all by herself, staff sometimes help depending on who she likes that day. And getting the bus home, all by herself. All very anxiety provoking situations. I pick her up around 4 so that's a long day all alone, miles away. Both my other children's school are within a 5 minute drive of the house, hers is 25/30 minutes. And from where I work, she is 40 minute drive away. So I understand if she is lonely but don't know how to help as such. When she is on the bus, my other kids are getting ready for school or at school so they can't talk to her, I'm driving so I can't talk either. I feel really guilty now.

  • Aw! I don't know what to say. I hope posting about it here is making you feel a bit better.

    Would a pen-friend called Mark help? That might help her feel less lonely.

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