• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 69 subscribers
  • Views 2089 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

violent outbursts

NAS89464

Hi everyone

Im new on here and just looking from some advice from anyone who might understand what i’m going through. My 6 year old son is currently awaiting an assessment. He’s high functioning but has always struggled with his social skills particularly when things don’t go his way and will lash out. This has got so much better as he’s got older but recently if he doesn’t get his own way he’s starting hitting me, and hit me in the head yesterday. He’s also hit my mum because she told him off for yelling in my face and the outburst are getting more and more frequently. He’s also started saying he wants to kill people when they don’t do what he wants. I just don’t know what to do and i’m really struggling. He is having the best year ever in year two at school, but at home he seems to be getting worse in some ways at the moment and I don’t know how to handle it. everything i read says not to discipline for hitting but i don’t know how i can just ignore him punching me and i worry it might get worse as he gets older and bigger. It’s really hard because what i’ve written makes him sound awful, and he’s not he’s the most lovely boy and you’d never know to look at him which is why i find it so hard to accept that he is autistic even though it’s impossible to deny it now. Has anyone on here had similar experiences with violence and can tell me what to do for the best? 

Parents

    1. Hello both. I haven't got any answers as such but after reading NAS89464's question and reading NAS89483's response its like reading about my own son who is 10 and diagnosed in march this year. We are awaiting an ADHD assessment too. My son has only just started this week to do his top button up on his school shirt which is great and I have praised him for this (being careful not to go over the top as he doesn't like this either and can get overwhelmed by swearing and shouting at me) but this morning he did struggle and after about 4 mins of trying he punched the freestanding mirror and stomped out of the room. My first reaction is to say why he did this and that he could have hurt himself but this was received with him swearing at me, he hates me and then walking past me on the landing but not before he stood on my foot then asked me to move. I try to remain calm but I find that I'm talking his reactions and responses personally and obviously I'm worried he could have broke the mirror and cut himself. I know he didn't and I know the reason is because he's frustrated about the button, in the end he allowed his older sister to button it. He is the same when playing his Xbox , throws the controllers, hits the TV, says some horrible things to me etc when he might be losing, or if I have asked to turn off after giving a count down of so many minutes so he can have a shower and settle for the evening and when we reach the point of no resolution I end up turning it off he will then hit me and push me away. I'm learning to walk away at a safe point like NAS89483 described but it is so very hard. He will then say sorry numerous times which I acknowledge but he then thinks he can go back to playing like nothing ever happened and when I try to explain we try not to throw things when we get frustrated or that if he is frustrated that he may need to stop for a break, the whole process starts again and the controllers end up pieces on the floor, I get punched and told I'm a B etc. My son selects home to offload after coming from school and it's definitely me who gets the brunt then his sister next. Like I said no answers from me but relief of some sort that we are not alone as I sometimes feel I am

Reply

    1. Hello both. I haven't got any answers as such but after reading NAS89464's question and reading NAS89483's response its like reading about my own son who is 10 and diagnosed in march this year. We are awaiting an ADHD assessment too. My son has only just started this week to do his top button up on his school shirt which is great and I have praised him for this (being careful not to go over the top as he doesn't like this either and can get overwhelmed by swearing and shouting at me) but this morning he did struggle and after about 4 mins of trying he punched the freestanding mirror and stomped out of the room. My first reaction is to say why he did this and that he could have hurt himself but this was received with him swearing at me, he hates me and then walking past me on the landing but not before he stood on my foot then asked me to move. I try to remain calm but I find that I'm talking his reactions and responses personally and obviously I'm worried he could have broke the mirror and cut himself. I know he didn't and I know the reason is because he's frustrated about the button, in the end he allowed his older sister to button it. He is the same when playing his Xbox , throws the controllers, hits the TV, says some horrible things to me etc when he might be losing, or if I have asked to turn off after giving a count down of so many minutes so he can have a shower and settle for the evening and when we reach the point of no resolution I end up turning it off he will then hit me and push me away. I'm learning to walk away at a safe point like NAS89483 described but it is so very hard. He will then say sorry numerous times which I acknowledge but he then thinks he can go back to playing like nothing ever happened and when I try to explain we try not to throw things when we get frustrated or that if he is frustrated that he may need to stop for a break, the whole process starts again and the controllers end up pieces on the floor, I get punched and told I'm a B etc. My son selects home to offload after coming from school and it's definitely me who gets the brunt then his sister next. Like I said no answers from me but relief of some sort that we are not alone as I sometimes feel I am

Children
No Data