Advice if possible please

My child is at Autistic unit in a mainstream school, the aim is to integrate the children into the mainstream and move them out of the unit. I’ve fought each time it’s been discussed and managed my child to continue full time in the unit. School are at a stage where they agree that it wouldn’t be the best decision for him to be in the mainstream at the moment but they can’t keep him full time in the unit for the remainder of primary years. All of the children in his class spend time in mainstream. So his week isn’t predictable and more children join the class as others move in mainstream full time. There has been so many days my sons is in meltdown and I can’t get him in the car, resulting in him missing days at school. He’s carried into school each day by myself or a teacher.

There are fully specialists schools in our area they have specialist staff. The classes would have the same children daily and the focus isn’t entirely on the curriculum and they focus on sensory needs also. A lot of the children are non verbal or have physical disabilities.

My child has got language but doesn’t speak in sentences. He’s able to answer simple questions but teachers and myself often wonder if he’s understanding the meaning of the question. He will answer a question with things that happened in the past. He mimicks others and has echolia. School have said that they know he is masking and try to support him with that. They are not good at supporting toilet training and this is something we struggle with at home too. He also does not eat when he’s at school. He’s very sad before & after school and says he doesn’t want to school, school is not good but he isn’t able to elaborate on that further due to his lack of language. He struggles with the other children and has 1 person who he calls his friend but when we have met this child outwith school my son is very anxious around him and wants to leave. 

I have mentioned the specialist school to my sons teacher who says my son should continue to work on his verbal communication where he currently is, as at the specialist school there is non verbal children and physically disabled children and my son wouldn’t have the level of interaction with other children and it’s best to continue to progress his language. 

Does anyone have any advice? I am really stuck on what to do. I think there is so much focus on speaking that every other need my child has  almost doesn’t seem important to the school. 

Parents
  • Hi. Firstly I wanted to say I feel sad for your son, especially with the amount of change and wouldn't personally be happy with my son being carried into a place he feels unhappy in. My son has struggled with getting into school and staff said they were not aware of problems because he was good at masking. However he then had problems like night terrors as a result. In regards to understanding questions I can empathize with that. My son used to say yes when he didn't understand.

    If he doesn't have an EHCP that is something I would look into.

    I am presuming as he is in a unit the teacher is experienced in working with autistic children and has tried different strategies.

    You mention Sensory needs. I would make a note of anything you think might be helpful. I also wonder if there is anything set up for him if he feels overwhelmed. From personal experience a lot of the trying to understand the problems is like detective work, trying to work out what in particular is difficult. Are the sensory needs to do with noise, smell etc? 

    Sorry no specific suggestions and from experience a lot of it is guess work. Hoping you are able to work out some things that help or the school can agree on something that is more settled for him.

  • School says he seems settled after a while and gets on with the school day. His teacher agrees that he masks a lot and he’s trying to support him. He said he can’t always tell what he’s feeling or thinking. His teacher is experienced and my son does like him. He tells me he likes him. 

    My son has terrible night terrors so bad he wakes up covered in sweat screaming. He began to have them this year. He isn’t able to tell me what they are about though. He will say things later on in the day or the week after and I try to link It up but it’s hard to work out.

    Thank you 

Reply
  • School says he seems settled after a while and gets on with the school day. His teacher agrees that he masks a lot and he’s trying to support him. He said he can’t always tell what he’s feeling or thinking. His teacher is experienced and my son does like him. He tells me he likes him. 

    My son has terrible night terrors so bad he wakes up covered in sweat screaming. He began to have them this year. He isn’t able to tell me what they are about though. He will say things later on in the day or the week after and I try to link It up but it’s hard to work out.

    Thank you 

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