Help with adult AS boy

SmileHi there,

I don't really know where to post this, but my problem is how to support him, he is now an adult.  He had to withdraw from uni (an achievement to get there in itself) and now isata loss of what to do with himself.  He has also had help with depression and finds it difficult to motivate himself and go looking for work.  

He feels very uncomfortable about having to sign on, feeling people are more worthy of it than him but worries he is not contributing to the household.  He did have a part time job and also did some work experience, but nothing else has turned up for him.

I'm worried about how to emotionally support him and feel he is just giving up.  I'd be grateful for any help, and am keen to offer advice to parents with AS children too as I've been there and done it.  Thank you 

Parents
  • How many CATS points did your son get, Catfan62? - ie was enough work completed in the two years to have parts of a degree that he can pick up on and use if he decides later to go back and finish, or if he decides to build up a qualification from bits and pieces? Usually first year modules do not count for much as it is groundwork, but did he complete any second year modules?

    Dropping out during second year is quite common, with or without a disability. The course content gets more demanding but the supervision is reduced - many students stumble because they find themselves alone and quickly out of touch.

    Also some courses that look good at first lose their attraction in second year, or throw up issues that weren't obvious in first year. This can be particularly difficult for someone on the spectrum as things that could be problems often don't show up until second year.

    Reading between the lines he had a "btec in multimedia" before going to university? - what was the level and nature of it? Did he do the same sort of thing at University? 

    As he has a disability the university should have been open to part-time study, or offered other options for continuation. I wouldn't give up on completing a degree as there are ways around this.

    To Barnaby Crumble agricultural colleges do offer degree courses usually in conjunction with a university so if he is doing well there explore with them the longer term opportunities.

    The sad thing with autistic spectrum is not getting jobs after gaining a qualification. After getting a confidence boost from successful study, the lack of any "moving on" can take things right back. The only consolation I can offer is the more skills acquired, and the more a student's mind is opened to possibilities and ways of finding out more, that in itself is beneficial because it is easier to find things to occupy the mind and keep active. A developed enquiring mind is an asset in itself.

    There are now too many graduates - a good idea to make degree study more accessible, but it has to feed into a job market, and a glut of graduates, especially in markets with few real openings, isn't helping. Unfortunately Britain shunned the Continental work experience based qualifications (eg Baccalaureate) for rather airy degrees. Hence agricultural college can make a lot of sense as it is experiential in a big way rather than theory.

    If the degree isn't practical based, you can make up the practical component, and then go back to the theoretical to finish a degree. Are there jobs Catfan62 in what your son was studying, that he could try for a period at a lower entry level, even part-time or part voluntary, that would enable him to explore his potential and narrow his sights? That way he might go back and finish a degree in a year or two, having practical knowledge to strengthen his case.

    True for some people the difficulties may mean few real job prospects, but I keep hoping thigs will improve. But also things can change with autism mid 20s and giving up now might be the wrong approach.

    I wish both of you and your sons luck and success.

Reply
  • How many CATS points did your son get, Catfan62? - ie was enough work completed in the two years to have parts of a degree that he can pick up on and use if he decides later to go back and finish, or if he decides to build up a qualification from bits and pieces? Usually first year modules do not count for much as it is groundwork, but did he complete any second year modules?

    Dropping out during second year is quite common, with or without a disability. The course content gets more demanding but the supervision is reduced - many students stumble because they find themselves alone and quickly out of touch.

    Also some courses that look good at first lose their attraction in second year, or throw up issues that weren't obvious in first year. This can be particularly difficult for someone on the spectrum as things that could be problems often don't show up until second year.

    Reading between the lines he had a "btec in multimedia" before going to university? - what was the level and nature of it? Did he do the same sort of thing at University? 

    As he has a disability the university should have been open to part-time study, or offered other options for continuation. I wouldn't give up on completing a degree as there are ways around this.

    To Barnaby Crumble agricultural colleges do offer degree courses usually in conjunction with a university so if he is doing well there explore with them the longer term opportunities.

    The sad thing with autistic spectrum is not getting jobs after gaining a qualification. After getting a confidence boost from successful study, the lack of any "moving on" can take things right back. The only consolation I can offer is the more skills acquired, and the more a student's mind is opened to possibilities and ways of finding out more, that in itself is beneficial because it is easier to find things to occupy the mind and keep active. A developed enquiring mind is an asset in itself.

    There are now too many graduates - a good idea to make degree study more accessible, but it has to feed into a job market, and a glut of graduates, especially in markets with few real openings, isn't helping. Unfortunately Britain shunned the Continental work experience based qualifications (eg Baccalaureate) for rather airy degrees. Hence agricultural college can make a lot of sense as it is experiential in a big way rather than theory.

    If the degree isn't practical based, you can make up the practical component, and then go back to the theoretical to finish a degree. Are there jobs Catfan62 in what your son was studying, that he could try for a period at a lower entry level, even part-time or part voluntary, that would enable him to explore his potential and narrow his sights? That way he might go back and finish a degree in a year or two, having practical knowledge to strengthen his case.

    True for some people the difficulties may mean few real job prospects, but I keep hoping thigs will improve. But also things can change with autism mid 20s and giving up now might be the wrong approach.

    I wish both of you and your sons luck and success.

Children
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