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Help with adult AS boy

Catfan62

SmileHi there,

I don't really know where to post this, but my problem is how to support him, he is now an adult.  He had to withdraw from uni (an achievement to get there in itself) and now isata loss of what to do with himself.  He has also had help with depression and finds it difficult to motivate himself and go looking for work.  

He feels very uncomfortable about having to sign on, feeling people are more worthy of it than him but worries he is not contributing to the household.  He did have a part time job and also did some work experience, but nothing else has turned up for him.

I'm worried about how to emotionally support him and feel he is just giving up.  I'd be grateful for any help, and am keen to offer advice to parents with AS children too as I've been there and done it.  Thank you 

Parents

  • Thanks Ill look them up, My son was going to media college but we had to take him out of school in the early part of year 11 as he kept shutting down and it became apparent that it wasnt the media that held his interest it was his brilliant relationship with the teacher. Also we did a few trips to the college and he wouldnt have coped with the busyness of the city and the college, they had offered him brilliant assistance but he had 2 roads to cross to get into the college and he wouldnt have even coped with that.

        He now goes to Agricultural college near us and is doing very well, they help a lot but he has now become obsessed with wanting to drive a tractor, they do some driving there and we & the college let him have a go at his tractor test, which he failed as he was driving to slow, bless him. the instructor overtook him walking, all he wants to do is drive but he goes into high red mode when he does anything under preasure, so at the moment its not a good idea.

       We have a small holding and im just wondering if its worth letting him build up a few animals at home and then we can keep an eye on what he is doing but he will feel like he is building his own future. I do logging with our ponies and I have one to break, ive asked him to help me and he seems keen so thats one thing to get him focused, but he says he isnt going on any course unless its a driving course.

        I just want him to be happy, but dealing with someone that doesnt get excited about anything that isnt his latest obsession, doesnt have an incling of compromise is proving a tad tricky, and hes only 16. Im also worried about him being isolated here, I know that is his ultimate dream, never to venture out of our farm again. but its not helping him is it?

       Your son sounds like he did well and had good support, such a shame that it has not continued for him, how did he like living alone?. \how did you feel about him living away?. I think id have a melt down let alone my son..lol. Do you have any support?.

    R x

Reply

  • Thanks Ill look them up, My son was going to media college but we had to take him out of school in the early part of year 11 as he kept shutting down and it became apparent that it wasnt the media that held his interest it was his brilliant relationship with the teacher. Also we did a few trips to the college and he wouldnt have coped with the busyness of the city and the college, they had offered him brilliant assistance but he had 2 roads to cross to get into the college and he wouldnt have even coped with that.

        He now goes to Agricultural college near us and is doing very well, they help a lot but he has now become obsessed with wanting to drive a tractor, they do some driving there and we & the college let him have a go at his tractor test, which he failed as he was driving to slow, bless him. the instructor overtook him walking, all he wants to do is drive but he goes into high red mode when he does anything under preasure, so at the moment its not a good idea.

       We have a small holding and im just wondering if its worth letting him build up a few animals at home and then we can keep an eye on what he is doing but he will feel like he is building his own future. I do logging with our ponies and I have one to break, ive asked him to help me and he seems keen so thats one thing to get him focused, but he says he isnt going on any course unless its a driving course.

        I just want him to be happy, but dealing with someone that doesnt get excited about anything that isnt his latest obsession, doesnt have an incling of compromise is proving a tad tricky, and hes only 16. Im also worried about him being isolated here, I know that is his ultimate dream, never to venture out of our farm again. but its not helping him is it?

       Your son sounds like he did well and had good support, such a shame that it has not continued for him, how did he like living alone?. \how did you feel about him living away?. I think id have a melt down let alone my son..lol. Do you have any support?.

    R x

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