How do you deal with Family Members who don't support your child's Autism!

My Beautiful Daughter was diagnosed with Autism 2 years ago when she was 15yrs old.  We had been through the worse time with her as she had a complete breakdown! she was suicidal and had complete school refusal, this all lasted for a couple of years and to cut a very long and painful story short she was eventually diagnosed privately with Autism which made alot of things fall into place and was the start for her to understand herself and accept herself for how she is. 

One of the hardest parts of all this is is how certain members of my family have reacted towards the diagnosis. I have been accused of putting a label on her! by getting her diagnosed that I am to overprotective of her and I need to let her grow up and figure this all out for herself. I have explained if I did this she would be dead! as that was how she was feeling and yet they still don't get it!! I have tried to educate my family on how Autism presents in girls and how it has a massive impact on a persons life! but they just don't understand they think I'm overreacting. My nephew refuses to thinks his cousin has autism and has said the diagnosis is wrong! My Mum and Sister also think she will grow out of it.

My Daughter is turning 18 in Nov and I have arranged a meal in Brighton for her, My brother in law asked if she would be going out drinking clubbing afterwards! now she is 18 I explained that she wouldn't be able to deal with all the noise and people in a busy nightclub so she was more than happy to have a family meal and mayb a cocktail to see in her birthday! He then said she should go out and enjoy herself and he can get her Autism out of her! as he is good with young people and on there level. WOW I could not believe what he said I was shocked that he thinks like this and it goes to show what he thinks autism is. Arhh I find it so frustrating and I'm trying hard to not let it get me down to much but it really does.

Have you had to deal with family members who don't understand or support you? How do you deal with them? is it easier to just stay away from them as there lack of support is unwanted in an already hard situation.

Parents
  • Wow, clearly there's still a long way to go in educating people about autism. Especially autism in people who can mask. When I was at school I struggled with the chaos and children and only got through the days by being mute and basically hiding away - no-one, including me, even thought about it possibly being autism. I was labelled 'just shy' - possibly because I was a girl and at the time autism was seen as an almost entirely male thing. I think it's great that things have progressed since then and that your daughter has had an assessment at age 15 and am really glad that it has helped her start to accept herself. I'm rubbish at giving advice but I'd say keep trying to gently educate your family. Maybe they will slowly start to understand?

Reply
  • Wow, clearly there's still a long way to go in educating people about autism. Especially autism in people who can mask. When I was at school I struggled with the chaos and children and only got through the days by being mute and basically hiding away - no-one, including me, even thought about it possibly being autism. I was labelled 'just shy' - possibly because I was a girl and at the time autism was seen as an almost entirely male thing. I think it's great that things have progressed since then and that your daughter has had an assessment at age 15 and am really glad that it has helped her start to accept herself. I'm rubbish at giving advice but I'd say keep trying to gently educate your family. Maybe they will slowly start to understand?

Children
  • Arh Thankyou i will try to educate my family and hope thet will be more open and understanding. I.m sorry you had that experience at school that sounds really tough but you should be proud of yourself getting through it. Xx