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ASD or being controling and manipulating

donnzmail

iH writting this after a 2 hour battle with my son tonight and a tough weekend and just don't know how to handle the situation for the best, advice needed please

Saturday i needed to get on top of my house work since i had a full weekend off my son was bored hes 11 and when he is bored boy do i know about it i phoned his friend for him and his friend invited him swimming , then i let his friend come round for tea and to play, towards the end of the evening my son starts getting very hyper and giddy but i let it go buy told him to calm down

 

Sundays ate family day when we all spend the day together as a family and if we can we go out for the day , but today we needed to go shopping and thaysvwhen things turned bad, my son made the day so hard cos he didn't want to go shopping he playedvup the whole day!! Stopping on front of the trolly on purpose so my boyfriend would run into him , banging into us and complaining how bored he was.

then we went home. Later me and my son went out to get his friend a birthday present ( his idea) on the way in the car he got a cd stuck on his finger , he has done this before bit pretend it was stuck to wind me up , i took him into the toilets ay toys r us to try and get it off with soap but his finger was swelling and it wouldn't budge one of the staff members helped us by cutting the cd to get it off .

later we decided to go out for dinner my son wanted mac donalds but we said no so he said he wouldn't eat at the teseraunt but eventually he gave in i feel like his behavior has been building all weekend and tonight he exploded. He went to bed as normal me and my boyfriend were watching tv and my son kept sneaking out of his room and throwing blue tack balls at us when i caught him he thought it was funny , i took it off him and sat down again then he kept coming out of his room and peeping round the door at usand using excuses to come into the living room so i shut the livingroom door , he kept opening the door and wedging it open with different objects ,he said he needs to hear the tv so he could sleep , i wasn't having it anyway my bf and i kept putting him back to bed and he started getting angry and abusive and pushed my boyfriend in the chest and called him names and swore at him we still didn't give in and he threw his drum kit over threw the chair and was very angry eventually obput a radio in his room and he called down , before all this started when he was first sent to bed he was marking his wall with a screw driver but blatently lied about it... Is this the type of characteristics of a child with asd??? And possible adhd , ivreally don't know what to do or how to handle this behavior

Parents

  • That sounds a lot like my son. He's 7 very clever, has amazing speech and incredibly manipulative! He also has no idea how to empathise or understand social cues about how others are feeling, he never seems to give a hoot about anyone else. This is because he really doesn't understand. I've heard it all: he's just naughty, or, he's clever and manipulating you to get his own way, he's nasty, he's rude, he hurts others. My boyfriend thought for a long time that my son was 'doing it on purpose' trying to be the alpha male. He took all my sons behaviours as a personal attack. I always knew in my heart that this wasn't the case. I saw that these things happened when he was feeling uncomfortable or anxious, out of control even. He has no idea how to calm himself down, sometimes he has no idea that the behaviour is 'building up' and so situations can get out of control very quickly. I kept on and on and eventually the school referred him for assessment with the comunity paediatric team. He has been diagnosed with ASD, having social, emotional and communication issues. It has taken 3 long years of shouting though because even the school refused to believe I was right!

    My advise is to keep on battling for your little boy as it seems as though he's struggling and maybe can't see a way to stop.

    No offence taken btw. Wink

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  • That sounds a lot like my son. He's 7 very clever, has amazing speech and incredibly manipulative! He also has no idea how to empathise or understand social cues about how others are feeling, he never seems to give a hoot about anyone else. This is because he really doesn't understand. I've heard it all: he's just naughty, or, he's clever and manipulating you to get his own way, he's nasty, he's rude, he hurts others. My boyfriend thought for a long time that my son was 'doing it on purpose' trying to be the alpha male. He took all my sons behaviours as a personal attack. I always knew in my heart that this wasn't the case. I saw that these things happened when he was feeling uncomfortable or anxious, out of control even. He has no idea how to calm himself down, sometimes he has no idea that the behaviour is 'building up' and so situations can get out of control very quickly. I kept on and on and eventually the school referred him for assessment with the comunity paediatric team. He has been diagnosed with ASD, having social, emotional and communication issues. It has taken 3 long years of shouting though because even the school refused to believe I was right!

    My advise is to keep on battling for your little boy as it seems as though he's struggling and maybe can't see a way to stop.

    No offence taken btw. Wink

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