Reducing daughter's stress levels

My daughter is quite stressed I would say but says she isn't and is just tired which she is also. 

Her school days are soo long and I have suggested sensory breaks and relaxing in her bedroom when she gets home. Here is what an average day looks like for her: 

6am: alarm goes off and she gets ready for school. 

7am: leaves home and walks to the bus stop. 

7:20am: gets on the bus which quickly gets really busy with adults and school students. 

8:30am: gets off the bus and walks to an area near school, sits outside a shop and chills. 

9:10am: walks to school. 

9:15-3:15: school day, has multiple lessons and staff each day. It's an Autism specialist school with 20 students max, she is 2:1.

2:30 or 3:10: she will walk to the bus stop with staff and wait for the bus. Never knows what bus she will get on. Each bus is packed and busy.

3:30-5:00pm: She will arrive home. Usually 1 hour bus journey and sometimes walks 5 minutes home depending on where the bus stops closest to home.

She will have dinner and have some family time or chill in her bedroom. 

8pm: gets ready for bed and will watch Criminal Minds on her tablet.

9pm: tries to go to sleep. 

Then she does it all over again. She is usually gone from 7am till sometimes 5pm. That's 10 hours and her school day is only 6 hours long, sometimes not even that if she gets the early bus home. 

Parents
  • Hi, it is a long commute but I don't think there is anything you can do about that? She seems settled in the autism specialist school. Thinking back I always marvel at how I survived school, let alone learnt anything during that time- my days were also quite long, getting up at around 6:30/6:45, school starting at 8:25, then until 3:30. Back home around 4:30 if there were no after school activities. I was exhausted. But what helped me is having a hobby. I spent hours in the stable with horses, riding or just taking care of them- it did become stressful as I grew older and homework increased as I was in the stable for 3-4 hours most days and often only got home around 9pm then had to eat and do all my homework... But it also was a huge positive- something I really loved- and being around horses is very calming- I was lucky- it can be an expensive hobby but I managed to get quite a bit of riding for free and my mum also supported it and came with me most days. When I went to university it was too expensive and too complicated and I stopped- but somehow I just ended up working longer hours but became much less efficient as I had no reason to try and speed up as I was working all the time anyways. Is there anything your daughter really likes to do? She might benefit from having a hobby or activity she really looks forward to. but it would have to really be something she loves a lot, otherwise it is not worth expending any extra energy. But it is weird- if it is an activity you love, expending a bit more energy to do it can actually give you back more energy. I'm sorry, I can't really help much. It is a long day and I understand that school can be a not nice place, draining, stressful, inefficient and exhausting- at least that's what it was like for me. But it sounds like your daughter is at least at a good school which understands autistic students. 

Reply
  • Hi, it is a long commute but I don't think there is anything you can do about that? She seems settled in the autism specialist school. Thinking back I always marvel at how I survived school, let alone learnt anything during that time- my days were also quite long, getting up at around 6:30/6:45, school starting at 8:25, then until 3:30. Back home around 4:30 if there were no after school activities. I was exhausted. But what helped me is having a hobby. I spent hours in the stable with horses, riding or just taking care of them- it did become stressful as I grew older and homework increased as I was in the stable for 3-4 hours most days and often only got home around 9pm then had to eat and do all my homework... But it also was a huge positive- something I really loved- and being around horses is very calming- I was lucky- it can be an expensive hobby but I managed to get quite a bit of riding for free and my mum also supported it and came with me most days. When I went to university it was too expensive and too complicated and I stopped- but somehow I just ended up working longer hours but became much less efficient as I had no reason to try and speed up as I was working all the time anyways. Is there anything your daughter really likes to do? She might benefit from having a hobby or activity she really looks forward to. but it would have to really be something she loves a lot, otherwise it is not worth expending any extra energy. But it is weird- if it is an activity you love, expending a bit more energy to do it can actually give you back more energy. I'm sorry, I can't really help much. It is a long day and I understand that school can be a not nice place, draining, stressful, inefficient and exhausting- at least that's what it was like for me. But it sounds like your daughter is at least at a good school which understands autistic students. 

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