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3 year old awaiting a diagnosis

Noodle

Hi, thanks for taking the time to read this.

I have a 3 year old son who is currently awaiting an autism assessment. He's been showing certain signs since he was a baby. He's just started nursery and already the teacher has refered him to an educational psychologist. She's explained it's so that they can get a special educational needs plan in place to ensure that he doesn't struggle at school. They said socially he is doing very well and he's great at maths but they're concerned about his speech and communication skills. He used to be totally non-verbal but now he talks a lot, it just isn't always very clear what he's saying. He has a bit of speech impediment too which is a seperate issue I think.

I'm struggling to process my feelings about the assesment and the school referal. I'm proud of my son. I think he's perfect, and I don't want anybody to see this label on him and undermine his potential. He's progressing all the time, about a year behind his peers, but he's never stopped growing his skills or regressed. 

I think some of my fears come from my experience with the SEN system. My brother in law is autistic and requires 24/7 care. I've known him and my husband since they were kids and growing up he was never challenged, encouraged or pushed. My husband is also autistic and was not diagnosed as a child, he was forced to conform and keep up with others and that had it's own draw backs too but he feels it was better than how his brother was treated.

We kind of suspect that I'm autistic too - I was non verbal by choice as a kid and I freak out whenever my routine is disrupted. But nobody really cared about me back then unfortunately so I doubt anyone noticed.

I just really don't know how to feel about it all. Too many emtions at once!

Parents

  • I think it's normal to have mixed feelings. It's a lot to think about. It sounds like your son is not in the same situation as your brother-in-law. Can you talk to the school about what help would be available if he is diagnosed.

    I was diagnosed at 37 and I wish I'd been diagnosed younger. I think younger diagnosis can help someone reach potential rather than miss it. I was also forced to conform and I was academically successful, but then from my late teens onwards until diagnosis, I had a series of terrible episodes of burnout and depression. They really destroyed my happiness and my life for a couple of decades as well as derailing my career.

    I think having an idea of who you are and what environments are good or bad for you from an early age is a plus, even without the adjustments your son may need as he progresses through the school system. Transitions in schooling are often triggers for burnout in children. For me it was starting university that was the big one, but starting secondary school triggers problems in many autistic children. It would be good to make future education choices knowing all the facts.

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  • I think it's normal to have mixed feelings. It's a lot to think about. It sounds like your son is not in the same situation as your brother-in-law. Can you talk to the school about what help would be available if he is diagnosed.

    I was diagnosed at 37 and I wish I'd been diagnosed younger. I think younger diagnosis can help someone reach potential rather than miss it. I was also forced to conform and I was academically successful, but then from my late teens onwards until diagnosis, I had a series of terrible episodes of burnout and depression. They really destroyed my happiness and my life for a couple of decades as well as derailing my career.

    I think having an idea of who you are and what environments are good or bad for you from an early age is a plus, even without the adjustments your son may need as he progresses through the school system. Transitions in schooling are often triggers for burnout in children. For me it was starting university that was the big one, but starting secondary school triggers problems in many autistic children. It would be good to make future education choices knowing all the facts.

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