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3 year old awaiting a diagnosis

Noodle

Hi, thanks for taking the time to read this.

I have a 3 year old son who is currently awaiting an autism assessment. He's been showing certain signs since he was a baby. He's just started nursery and already the teacher has refered him to an educational psychologist. She's explained it's so that they can get a special educational needs plan in place to ensure that he doesn't struggle at school. They said socially he is doing very well and he's great at maths but they're concerned about his speech and communication skills. He used to be totally non-verbal but now he talks a lot, it just isn't always very clear what he's saying. He has a bit of speech impediment too which is a seperate issue I think.

I'm struggling to process my feelings about the assesment and the school referal. I'm proud of my son. I think he's perfect, and I don't want anybody to see this label on him and undermine his potential. He's progressing all the time, about a year behind his peers, but he's never stopped growing his skills or regressed. 

I think some of my fears come from my experience with the SEN system. My brother in law is autistic and requires 24/7 care. I've known him and my husband since they were kids and growing up he was never challenged, encouraged or pushed. My husband is also autistic and was not diagnosed as a child, he was forced to conform and keep up with others and that had it's own draw backs too but he feels it was better than how his brother was treated.

We kind of suspect that I'm autistic too - I was non verbal by choice as a kid and I freak out whenever my routine is disrupted. But nobody really cared about me back then unfortunately so I doubt anyone noticed.

I just really don't know how to feel about it all. Too many emtions at once!

Parents

  • It’s an awkward one. I was only diagnosed at the age of 50. I qualified as an actuary although I struggled with working as an actuary - most jobs once you qualify involve sales or management both of which required social skills which I lacked as an undiagnosed autistic person. In the end I effectively retired early at the age of 38 although not entirely voluntarily. I have also struggled in other areas of my life which might have been improved if I had been diagnosed at 18 or even 21. At least if your son is diagnosed in theory he can get support / training / knowledge for the areas he has difficulties. I guess what I’m saying is there is perhaps more to life than academic potential / achievement.

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  • It’s an awkward one. I was only diagnosed at the age of 50. I qualified as an actuary although I struggled with working as an actuary - most jobs once you qualify involve sales or management both of which required social skills which I lacked as an undiagnosed autistic person. In the end I effectively retired early at the age of 38 although not entirely voluntarily. I have also struggled in other areas of my life which might have been improved if I had been diagnosed at 18 or even 21. At least if your son is diagnosed in theory he can get support / training / knowledge for the areas he has difficulties. I guess what I’m saying is there is perhaps more to life than academic potential / achievement.

Children
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