Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi All.
Our daughter left sixth form after about half a term in mental health crisis. She’s been out of education since last Christmas In June she was diagnosed autistic. She’s under CAMHS for therapy. She enrolled at college, attended induction (2hours) and now won’t return. She’s stayed off this week, saying she’ll start on Monday. Today she said she didn’t want to go at all. Anxiety is through the roof. This morning she self harmed (hadn’t done this since last Feb). We had a zoom therapy meeting where the therapist wanted me to stay (I never have before). She expressed her worries about daughters relationship with her boyfriend who suffers with anxiety and to us seems controlling. Therapist said this too based on more info than we’ve had from daughter. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried low demand for months and she stays in bed and gets ready to see boyfriend and sees him. She does work part time about 14 hours a week to get money for Ubers to see him or pay for him to see her. I’m scared for her. She is vulnerable and I’m frightened if I make it harder for her to see him she’ll just take off, or run away, if I facilitate it she’s going down a spiral of obsessive relationship and nothing else. I don’t know if her actions and thoughts are because she’s autistic or just teenage. I don’t know if I should push her to go to college (therapist says she should push through her anxiety to give it a chance) or if I’m just escalating her mental earth problems by doing that. At hone she has no responsibilities (basically she won’t do anything). Is this acceptable if she’s autistic? I’ve gone with this so far to keep a calm environment for her MH needs, but am I just facilitating behaviour that’s not acceptable, or is it acceptable. If I’ve used the wrong language in this post I’m sorry. Everything is new and I’m desperate to know how to support my daughter so she can see a happy future for herself. I’ve read lots of books btw, but many seem more for younger kids. No information on negotiating with an adolescent. thanks for any help or support anyone can give
Unfortunately your daughter will be vulnerable to controlling people as mine was. I got her on an antidepressant which helped her cope with her changes in mood and it calmed her down to the extent I can ask her to do things for herself like keep her room tidy and I take her out and encourage her to pick clothes she likes which is a big thing as I usually get I don't know response. It takes patience and hard work to communicate and they will realize u have their best interests at heart