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aspergers and gender dysmorphia

markjulips

Hi - I have a 31year old son whom I think may have a mild form Aspergers but has never been diagnosed as it never entered our heads before my neice started having "problems" with her young son and he was diagnosed with autism (which made us do a lot of reading and research with her).  My son has an extremely high IQ and always been good at mathematics and computer programming and has always had obsessions in the past which have always fizzled out when he finds another.  He finds it extremely difficult to make friends, keep a job and has always had relationships with girls but when they end he gets depressed and suicidal.

Last year he revealed he has gender dysmorphia since having counselling sessions after when a psychologist suggested his failed relationships could be because he feels uncomfortable in his male role and I am concerned that this may be yet another obsession which will be irreversible if he does become a woman.  He has now been gioven the go-ahead to take hormones after 4 hours of specialist couselling and 1 seesion with a specialist psychiatrist.

Have any other parents been through this sort of thing or do they think I am just clutching at straws and just watch him go ahead?

Parents

  • Hi Sonsmum,

    Your son sounds similar to ours, and I really empathise about all the problems with behaviour at school, plus the bizarre mix of arrogance and a lack of self confidence (something I seem to experience myself!), You sound like lovely parents, and it is very difficult dealing with a child on the spectrum (whether they have a diagnosis or not). Simple things become hard work, and you end up tired, exasperated and thinking, "Why does everything have to be so difficult?!"

    I think I may be on the spectrum too (although I'm becoming increasingly skeptical about "high functioning autism" - I think it is a pathological title applied to a personality type) which really doesn't help, hahaha! I fall out with people easily (and have done with most of my family) as I hold myself and others to high standards which very few people can live up to.

    Going back to the lack of self esteem/arrogance thing; I think it stands to reason that a person can become arrogant when they feel like they don't belong or aren't valued for who they really are. It's a survival strategy! "I don't need you anyway, you're all morons..." etc.

    It's interesting that you have come onto this forum now - is there a reason for that? are you just trying to find answers, or do you hope to make contact with your child again?

    All the best

    p.s. As a parent, as long as I have a breath left in my body I will never give up on my kids. Even if they say they hate me and want nothing to do with me. I will willingly abandon all pride to let my children know that I love them and will always be here for them. That does *not* extend, however, to them treating me like crap. I would let them know gently but firmly that I love them, but I want to be treated with respect, as anybody does. x

Reply

  • Hi Sonsmum,

    Your son sounds similar to ours, and I really empathise about all the problems with behaviour at school, plus the bizarre mix of arrogance and a lack of self confidence (something I seem to experience myself!), You sound like lovely parents, and it is very difficult dealing with a child on the spectrum (whether they have a diagnosis or not). Simple things become hard work, and you end up tired, exasperated and thinking, "Why does everything have to be so difficult?!"

    I think I may be on the spectrum too (although I'm becoming increasingly skeptical about "high functioning autism" - I think it is a pathological title applied to a personality type) which really doesn't help, hahaha! I fall out with people easily (and have done with most of my family) as I hold myself and others to high standards which very few people can live up to.

    Going back to the lack of self esteem/arrogance thing; I think it stands to reason that a person can become arrogant when they feel like they don't belong or aren't valued for who they really are. It's a survival strategy! "I don't need you anyway, you're all morons..." etc.

    It's interesting that you have come onto this forum now - is there a reason for that? are you just trying to find answers, or do you hope to make contact with your child again?

    All the best

    p.s. As a parent, as long as I have a breath left in my body I will never give up on my kids. Even if they say they hate me and want nothing to do with me. I will willingly abandon all pride to let my children know that I love them and will always be here for them. That does *not* extend, however, to them treating me like crap. I would let them know gently but firmly that I love them, but I want to be treated with respect, as anybody does. x

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