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aspergers and gender dysmorphia

markjulips

Hi - I have a 31year old son whom I think may have a mild form Aspergers but has never been diagnosed as it never entered our heads before my neice started having "problems" with her young son and he was diagnosed with autism (which made us do a lot of reading and research with her).  My son has an extremely high IQ and always been good at mathematics and computer programming and has always had obsessions in the past which have always fizzled out when he finds another.  He finds it extremely difficult to make friends, keep a job and has always had relationships with girls but when they end he gets depressed and suicidal.

Last year he revealed he has gender dysmorphia since having counselling sessions after when a psychologist suggested his failed relationships could be because he feels uncomfortable in his male role and I am concerned that this may be yet another obsession which will be irreversible if he does become a woman.  He has now been gioven the go-ahead to take hormones after 4 hours of specialist couselling and 1 seesion with a specialist psychiatrist.

Have any other parents been through this sort of thing or do they think I am just clutching at straws and just watch him go ahead?

Parents

  • Hi Fairytopia,

    Well that post could have been from me a few years ago. You are so right as to how isolating it can be. Our concerns do not seem to be taken into consideration, which is so very difficult. My child, has not had a diagnosis of Asperger's but after being in denial for a long time, is now considering being assessed (my husband has been assessed as having Asperger's). However I believe that if a diagnosis had been explored earlier, it may have been a different story. My child still has very many unresolved issues and I feel is actually in a worse place mentally than before this process began. This may or may not have anythbing to do with being transgender but I believe we should be able to have discussions about this. Unfortunatley, it's a no-go subject as far as my child is concerned and although there is still much love between us, I'm afraid our relationship is quite fractured. 

    I have replied to another post wondering if there is any way we can contact each other directly, which I will look into. I have also suggested that we need our own support group, as there doesn't seem to be anything out there for families who have genuine questions or concerns. 

    You are not a bigot or tansphobic for having questions or doubts. It is natural for you to have concerns for your child and actually by questioning we are trying to get the answers that will help us move forward and support our children, whatever they ulitmately decide.

Reply

  • Hi Fairytopia,

    Well that post could have been from me a few years ago. You are so right as to how isolating it can be. Our concerns do not seem to be taken into consideration, which is so very difficult. My child, has not had a diagnosis of Asperger's but after being in denial for a long time, is now considering being assessed (my husband has been assessed as having Asperger's). However I believe that if a diagnosis had been explored earlier, it may have been a different story. My child still has very many unresolved issues and I feel is actually in a worse place mentally than before this process began. This may or may not have anythbing to do with being transgender but I believe we should be able to have discussions about this. Unfortunatley, it's a no-go subject as far as my child is concerned and although there is still much love between us, I'm afraid our relationship is quite fractured. 

    I have replied to another post wondering if there is any way we can contact each other directly, which I will look into. I have also suggested that we need our own support group, as there doesn't seem to be anything out there for families who have genuine questions or concerns. 

    You are not a bigot or tansphobic for having questions or doubts. It is natural for you to have concerns for your child and actually by questioning we are trying to get the answers that will help us move forward and support our children, whatever they ulitmately decide.

Children
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