aspergers and gender dysmorphia

Hi Dizzy Dee,

I posted over a year ago about my child, who is f to m transgender.  Like you, it was a shock to both my husband and myself to find this out, as my then daughter had never showed any outward tendencies to identify as male. We now believe our child has Asperger's, but has never been assesssed.  My husband was diagnosed just over a year ago and we believe it is genetically in his family.  I now refer to my child as he although this has taken a long time.  As to whether or not I think of him as a 'he' that is more complex.  First and foremost, he is my child, whom I have always loved unconditionally.  I do wonder though, if this is the right thing for him.  He has been through a gender clinic, and after 3, 1 hours 'counselling' sessions (he qwas 18 at the time) they agreed he was really a male in a female body.  

He has had some surgery and is on male hormones.  He says he is so much happier now.  I don't really know if that's true.  I do believe he's found a group of people he's happy with and that support him, and as he had a lot of trouble making and keeping friends when he was younger, I'm glad he has found companionship now. He still suffers from anxiety and depression and I think there is a lot of 'stuff' that he is burying.  Of course, this is from mine and my husband's perspective and it may well be that deep down he has always identified with being male and that living as a male is the only way for him.  I am however incredulous, that at the age of 18, he could go through this process, without we, his parents being allowed any input and without any other issues being taken into consideration.

I understand how you must feel.  It does get easier, although I believe our child is still more vunerable than he cares to admit.  You can only be there for them and yes they have to live their own lives.  However when that means major body and not just lifestyle changes, that can be very difficult to just accept.  There should be some sort of joint counselling for parents and offspring who are contemplating this.  Many psyvhologist now state that adults are not emotionally mature until 25 and yet from 18 we as parent have now say in what happens to them.  

Sorry for rambling, but I hope it helps you to know you are not alone with your worries about your child.  I don't know if there is any way we can get in touch directly, or even if you would want to but good luck and remember, that even thought may not always seem like it, your child loves you and needs you.

Hi Dizzy Dee,

I posted over a year ago about my child, who is f to m transgender.  Like you, it was a shock to both my husband and myself to find this out, as my then daughter had never showed any outward tendencies to identify as male. We now believe our child has Asperger's, but has never been assesssed.  My husband was diagnosed just over a year ago and we believe it is genetically in his family.  I now refer to my child as he although this has taken a long time.  As to whether or not I think of him as a 'he' that is more complex.  First and foremost, he is my child, whom I have always loved unconditionally.  I do wonder though, if this is the right thing for him.  He has been through a gender clinic, and after 3, 1 hours 'counselling' sessions (he qwas 18 at the time) they agreed he was really a male in a female body.  

He has had some surgery and is on male hormones.  He says he is so much happier now.  I don't really know if that's true.  I do believe he's found a group of people he's happy with and that support him, and as he had a lot of trouble making and keeping friends when he was younger, I'm glad he has found companionship now. He still suffers from anxiety and depression and I think there is a lot of 'stuff' that he is burying.  Of course, this is from mine and my husband's perspective and it may well be that deep down he has always identified with being male and that living as a male is the only way for him.  I am however incredulous, that at the age of 18, he could go through this process, without we, his parents being allowed any input and without any other issues being taken into consideration.

I understand how you must feel.  It does get easier, although I believe our child is still more vunerable than he cares to admit.  You can only be there for them and yes they have to live their own lives.  However when that means major body and not just lifestyle changes, that can be very difficult to just accept.  There should be some sort of joint counselling for parents and offspring who are contemplating this.  Many psyvhologist now state that adults are not emotionally mature until 25 and yet from 18 we as parent have now say in what happens to them.  

Sorry for rambling, but I hope it helps you to know you are not alone with your worries about your child.  I don't know if there is any way we can get in touch directly, or even if you would want to but good luck and remember, that even thought may not always seem like it, your child loves you and needs you.